Thinking Biblically about Children

It seems that every one of my friends are either pregnant or have just given birth. But since I have the gift of exaggeration, it's probably not every one of them...but many!

But as I've been watching many of them share their exciting news with other friends and family members, the reactions have been much different from when they announced their 1st or 2nd or 3rd little "addition" to their family.

Instead of the typical excited squeals and hugs of congratulations like with their previous pregnancies, it seems that with every "new" announcement my friends give, they are not congratulated but are rather confronted with comments and questions such as,

"You know what causes this, don't you?"

"Was this pregnancy planned or an accident?"

"Don't you think that you already have your hands full with the children you have?"

"You guys are done after this one, aren't you?

"My, you are going to be busy!"

And the one that especially saddens are those "well wishers" who in one breath say, "Children are a blessing from the Lord," and the next, "You are done after this one, aren't you?"

Even with my own life, when I have tossed out the idea to various people that we may not be done having children, I have received similar comments/questions...this one being the most recent:

"That's probably not a wise idea at this time for you guys, is it?"

Now I admit I have had some of those same thoughts about other newly expecting mamas and have even chatted a few times with Brad or another friend or two about it.

But after learning that several of our friends have had their vasectomies reversed and a growing number of our closest friends are having larger families (more than 2 or 3 children), my thinking (and that of husband's) has been challenged. Brad and I are becoming more and more convicted that we have had a wrong and unbiblical view of children and that these thoughts have been shaped more by the world and its sometimes subtle views on children than the Bible's view.

Think about it...what does the world say about children?

They are a burden.

They will inconvenience your life.

They are work.

They are exhausting.

You should DEFINITELY stop after your 2nd or 3rd.

Start counting down the days until they are 18 and out of your home.

How are you going to afford another child?

The negative comments only escalate as the number of children in your home grows. Just think about all the critical words the world has for large families today.

But yet there are over 400 references to "children" in the Bible. And the only time children are looked down upon are by those who tried to keep them from Jesus.

"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have Him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them." Mark 10:13-16 (NIV)

I find it interesting that this exact story is in three of the four Gospels.

So as I've been wrestling through what the world and what the Bible says about children, I've come to a few conclusions:

• Children are a blessing from the Lord...whether the pregnancy was planned or if the parents were entirely ready for his or her arrival...every single child is a blessing. And they are a blessing because they are created in the image of God and are knit together by Him in the womb.

• They are also a blessing because they cause us to become less selfish, more patient, and more giving. My days of sleeping in (as a whole) are over! I have to care for my children, feed them, read to them the same book over and over again. Much of my own refining and sanctification happens as a result of having them live with me every day in my home.

• They are a blessing because of their sheer enjoyment! Many days in my parenting I have taken such delight in watching one of my children take their first step or say a new word for the first time. Some days they still drive me crazy, but the joy they bring me and my husband far outweigh the rough days.

So should everyone, therefore go out and have as many children as they can? That's not the point I'm trying to make. The issue is not the number of children that we have, but it's our attitude towards them and the value we place on them.

With all this in mind, I have been reminded again and challenged even more to continue look through the lens of Scripture as I process what the world is saying. Especially when it comes to children.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Guest post: Thinking Biblically About Children

Check out my guest post on my friend, Gianna's blog!

Flashback on the 15th - Strawberry Picking with Grandma

Last July when Brad's mom was here for a visit, I wanted to make the most of her time with us...but I ended up cramming way too much into her 2 1/2 week stay.

I know that's hard for some of you to believe...

Daily swim lessons for the kids, my first ever garage sale, play dates, etc...

Poor Betty had to go home to get some rest!

Anyway, one of the super fun activities we did with her was go strawberry picking. I met 2 other girlfriends and their kids at a local, family run, strawberry patch, meat processing, sweet little farm called Nelson Shine.

We had a GREAT time!

Sammy loved strawberry picking. She is such a perfectionist and was very picky about her choices.

Grandma stayed with Caleb quite a bit, but after a short lesson in "proper strawberry choosing and picking" he was right up there with Sammy.

Sammy and Caleb picked for 30-45 minutes, which I thought was great for their first time, but the farm had other great places to explore and the goats and horses were just too tempting.

For most of this time, Hannah had been confined to her stroller.

Poor, poor 3rd child!

But after Sammy and Caleb ran off with their friends to explore the nooks and crannies of the farm, Grandma Aust was able to share some pure sweetness with her.

And share she did!

As I was just finishing up picking my last bit of strawberries, Caleb found a gold mine.

A sand box...

with a bazillion John Deere tractors.

He. Was. In. Heaven.

While Caleb was lost in tractors and trailers, Sammy found her own slice of heaven.

We could have seriously stayed their all day!

But there were strawberries to wash, mouths to feed and a sleepy baby to put down for a nap.

And one tired Mommy and Grandma who needed to put their feet up!

Rub-a-dub, dub...3 kids in a tub!

For the record.

This was the first and last time I will ever put all 3 of my kids in the same bath tub.

After literally 23 seconds of laughter and cute smiles and sweet, innocent fun...

Hannah was crying after being climbed over to get to the bath toys, Sammy was trying to convince her siblings to "just move over" so she could do the back float, and Caleb was spraying water everywhere except inside the tub.

These things always seem to go so much better in my mind...

But this pictures is such a sweet reminder of God's goodness.

I still think the half dozen soaking towels were worth it.

How to know the will of God

Over the course of our 12+ years of marriage, Brad and I have had to make some very difficult decisions. With every choice or crossroad, we have often sought God's will for our lives concerning most everything. Job changes, moves, children, extra responsibilities, our budget, family issues...the list goes on and on. We yearn and desire to do what He wants us to. And as we've prayed and wrestled with our own personal longings to do God's will over the years, intermixed with that have been many long discussions with students who are wrestling with the same thing.

It seems for believers in Jesus Christ, that knowing His will for their lives is crucial to daily living and decision making.

Yet, for myself personally and for those I've ministered to, knowing God's will doesn't always come easy.

Why is that?

I think sometimes we aren't really open to God's will. We may have our plans made already and not have even considered other alternatives. We quickly glance over Scripture passages that would offer us warning or brush aside some Godly council. We talk about wanting to do God's will, but do we really?

Sometimes I wonder if we think God is being elusive or teasing us about His will for our lives. It's as if He wants to make us guess or work really hard to figure it out. We think if we just prayed harder or make dozens of lists of pros and cons, just maybe we'll be able to put our finger on it.

In many cases, we don't consider fully the way that God communicates His will. He does it through a variety of ways. Through His Word...through Godly council...through open and closes doors...through our own passions and desires...through circumstances. Not one painful experience or a late night conversation with a friend is overlooked in God's economy. He is not shy in communicating to us.

Our former senior pastor and Brad began a preaching series on I Thessalonians in September and this year I am studying several of Paul's Epistles in Bible Study Fellowship...currently I and II Thessalonians. And as I've been studying this past week, several verses literally popped off the pages.

Want to know what God's will is for you?

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified..." I Thess. 4:3

and...

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thess. 5:16-18

Please hear me friends. I know that there are important decisions to make. What college to attend, who to marry, which car to buy, what college major to have, how to spend your money, where to move, when to start having children... I get that, I really do. Brad and I have had some super huge decisions of late. But, as we are sitting in a "waiting room" of sorts...waiting until the last week of February until knowing if Brad has been accepted into Bethlehem Seminary or not...I've realized there's a lot that God has spoken already about His will and my obedience to it.

Here are just a few of the things we all should be doing...which is God's will for believers:

* avoid sexual immorality (4:3)

* learn to control own body in a way that is holy and honorable (4:7)

* love each other...and continue to do so more and more (4:10)

* lead a quiet life...mind your own business...work with your hands and not be dependent on anyone (4:11-12)

* respect those who work hard around us...who are over us in the Lord and who admonish you (5:12)

* live at peace with each other (5:13)

* warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone (5:14)

* do not pay back wrong for wrong (5:15)

* be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances (5:16-18)

* do not put out the Spirit's fire (5:19)

* test everything and hold onto the good (5:21)

* avoid every kind of evil (5:22)

God has given us plenty of things that we can already be doing as He continually shows us His general and specific will for each of our lives.

I think I could spent the next year alone working on having patience with everyone and giving thanks in all circumstances.

And for those of you feeling overwhelmed by this list of "duties," listen to I Thess. 5:24:

"The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it."

Can we each know the will of God for our lives? Yes, we can!

Is it impossible to do the will of God, once we've become aware of it? No, but it can be done in God's mighty power!

Be encouraged! Whatever it is that God is calling you to do and wherever you are today...in the waiting room or beginning a scary, new adventure...you can know God's will and He will empower you to do it.

"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6