Christmas in North Dakota

Brad, Sammy, and I spent about 5 days in Bismarck, ND with my family over Christmas. We were able to go to an alumni basketball game at my high school, see a couple of old friends, and meet my brother's girlfriend, Nikki and her twin daughters. While it is fun to get out of the house for a few days and see family, having all 12 of us in one house for Christmas dinner was a bit crazy. Sammy had the worse cold she's ever had in her short 14 months, and sleep was hard to come by for her. She was cranky and whiny and not her normal happy self. But no matter how chaotic it got at times, or how I wished things could have been done a bit differently, I really do enjoy going home and as we drove away, I'm always glad we made it home.

I know for me, going back home and to the house I grew up always causes me to be filled with mixed emotions. While I loved growing up where I did, when I return, I realize how much I have changed from that 18 year old girl who left home for college in another state. The person I've become always seems to conflict with the person I was then. And I feel like I fall back into some of the crazy family cycles...cycles that I've tried hard to break.

I think no matter how perfect or imperfect your family is, every one has some sort of dysfunction. And each of our families of origin has made us into wonderful people and also people with a lot of extra baggage and problems. And as we start our own families, we try to take the really good from our family's past and try to repeat those good things and also try to NOT repeat the bad.

No matter how much some of us deny it, our families have a profound impact on our lives.

And even as I still think today of how I hard some moments were at home, I am reminded of (all 12 of us) sitting down for Christmas dinner; watching Beth, Jess, Samantha, and Ashley chase Sammy around the house; and (all 12 of us) going to church Sunday morning as one family.

Priceless.

Christmas 2006...a year of blessings!

Brad and I recently went to see the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness." It was 118 minutes of sadness and 2 minutes of complete joy.

(Now, let me lay out a disclaimer. Brad and I are not movie people, so we are a bit more critical...and opinionated...about the movies we see. The comments you read here may not accurately describe the film.)

Anyway, it was completely worth seeing, but it was a very emotionally draining movie for me to watch. But when it was over, I was so grateful that I had a home and a car and money in the bank.

Sometimes this time of year becomes more and more about the presents and the Christmas parties and the family get-togethers and less about giving and thanksgiving and stopping to ponder the incredible blessings in each of our lives. And now, as a parent, I have to figure out a way to make sure Samantha learns about the true meaning of this season...and to not bombard her (or let Grandma and Papa bombard her) with presents and toys.

This year is one we are especially thankful for. Brad has survived his first 5 months of running Lakewood's youth ministry program...with the help of his great ministry assistants and many volunteers. I have settled into a really nice routine at home and an enjoying it more and more...and missing teaching less and less. And, the greatest news of all, we learned we are expecting another child on July 13, 2007! I am almost 11 weeks pregnant, and am feeling pretty good...but that could change at any moment!

I love Christmas! I love Christmas music and making cookies for our neighbors! I love the lights on our Christmas tree and the light layer of snow (that used to be) outside our windows! But, as I feel my belly and think of holding another child, I immediately think of Mary…a very young mother who had one of the hardest and greatest blessings of all time… I am in awe of who she was and what courage she had. I do not want to put her on a pedestal, for Christ is the center of Christmas, but I don’t want to overlook her as well. She was obedient, brave, and not afraid of what other people thought. She had been called by the great I AM, and nothing would stop her from fulfilling that very special call on her life.

My prayer is that we all would long to be like Mary. To long to have an overwhelming obstacle in our lives and be completely obedient to engage it. To long to hear God’s voice of direction and whole-heartedly follow it. To long to believe that God can be truly trusted in all areas of our lives. And, like Mary, to long to see great miracles done in our lives.

For God is truly an awesome God and worthy to be praised!

Babies, babies, babies

Congratulations to Chris and Gianna Kordatzky on the birth of their beautiful daughter Brin! And congratulations as well to Shayne and Bethanne Weltmer on the birth of their beautiful daughter Ceili! I hope both mothers are doing well and adjusting to another baby in the house. You guys are my heros! And Bethanne, I need to make an appointment with you so you can help me work on my breathing...

The blessing of friends

Our good friends, Rick and Rose, were here visiting this past weekend. They were in our Soulmates group when we attended Church of the Open Door about 2 1/2 years ago. Despite living 2 hours away from each other, they still manage to come up the the Brainerd Lakes Area to see us 3-4 times a year. I know they love coming to see us, but I'm sure the great fishing (and the snow this weekend) also has something to do with it.

Anyway, we have such a great time with them! Our weekend was full of strategy games (Rick won most of them, even though I should have won Seafarers of Catan....I'm still a little bitter!), a long walk down to the lake, and a late-night movie. Rick and Brad played WAY TOO MUCH X-BOX, but I guess boys will be boys!

As I was washing the guest bedroom bedding and tidying up the house today, I thought about a little song I sang when I was in elementary school. "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold." How true that little song is!

Recently I learned from a friend (and real estate agent) that it takes, on average, three years for women who have moved to the Brainerd Lakes Area to really settle down and feel as if this community is home. Three years! That's a long time to not feel comfortable somewhere. But in my own journey the last 2 1/2 years, I find that statement to be very true. We had a whirlwind summer when we first moved here in July of 04. We went on 3 weeks of missions trips with the youth group, bought a house, had a long year of teaching and getting used to our new church, got pregnant 6 months later, had a daughter just a little over a year after we moved, and I left teaching and became a full-time stay-at-home mom. And even though I feel I now have girl friends here I can call and have play dates with, there is nothing like my old college and Open Door friends from the Cities.

Many times, especially when Sammy was just a baby and I was stuck at home last winter, I wished we were still in the Cities. I knew that at any time I could have called Gianna or Dacia or Megan and they would have come over right away. I didn't have that same relationship with my new friends here. I feel like I've come a long way in growing my new relationships, but no one will even take the place of those dear friends.

"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold." Today (and in this season of blessings), I am thankful for so many things...especially my old friends and my new ones as well.