Currently my women's multi-generational Sunday School class is watching Rob Bell's "Nooma" videos. Each video is about 10-15 minutes, and the rest of our class time we spend in prayer, small and large group discussion, journaling, reading scripture or other devotional type passages. Each class has hit a spiritual cord in my life, and I've loved learning and discussing these topics with both my junior girls and older women in our church.
This past week was pretty profound for me. It was entitled "Rich." Rob Bell first began by listing some staggering statistics of what percentage of the world's population owns a car or has running water or has more than one pair of shoes. As he talked further and we later discussed as a group, I couldn't help but think about all that I had. The things that I've longed for (a new couch, minivan, new flip-flops) just faded from my mind. I realized how blessed I truly was...not only by material possessions, but by my family, friends, and church.
Then I began to think of what materialism has done in my life...made me discontent and envious. Just a few nights ago, Brad and I read this passage from Shepherding a Child's Heart. "If man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever, how do we teach children to function in this culture? We teach them to find their soul's delight in going places and doing things. We fill their young lives with distractions from God. We give them material things and take delight in their delight in possessions. Then we hope that somewhere down the line they will see that a life worth living is found only in knowing and serving God." It was a pretty convicting passage for us. So then should Brad and I sell everything we have? Should we stop buying toys for Sammy? Where is the balance?
I think God gives for a reason…He blesses us so we can bless others. And no matter how much or how little we have, ALL of us can give something everyday...our time, knowledge, kindness, help, love...the list goes on and on. And isn't that what the first church in Acts 2 was all about?
Maybe the real question is not be how much money I spend on Sammy, but who will I bless today?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Forgiveness
In August of 2002, Brad and I left a church in Wisconsin where he had been serving as youth pastor for almost four years. It was a very hard and painful situation, but we felt Brad could no longer serve in a church in which he and the senior pastor had such different philosophies of ministry and struggled with respecting one another. Even though we believe to this day that it was the healthiest decision (for us, the senior pastor, and the church) to leave, it was one of the toughest decisions we have made in our almost 8 years of marriage.
In the years that have followed, we have worked through many issues such as healing, forgiveness, and bitterness. We attended a wonderful church right after our move that brought a lot of healing and laughter back into our lives. And now Brad is doing what he loves...working with students with like-minded people in a very healthy church. He is surrounded by men and women with very similar philosophies of ministry, who have been great supporters, encouragers, and mentors to him. We could not be happier with where God has placed us.
In the last week, though, we have learned of some very hard times at our former church. Some situations have arisen which may ultimately cost the senior pastor his position. In the few details that were shared with Brad, one of them was that Brad should feel very vindicated by what has been brought to light.
A few years ago, I would have said, “Absolutely! It serves the senior pastor right for all the pain he put us through!”
But today, all I can think of is the pain that he and his family must be going through. How will he be able to leave a church he has pastored for 20 years? How will this affect his wife and 8 children…5 of which are still at home? How will this affect him emotionally and physically? How can he leave an 8,000 member community of which he knows and loves?
No, I’m realizing that the #1 person who really needed to change and really needed healing was me. I was the one holding onto bitterness…holding it against him that he forced us away from our students and from a teaching position that I loved. I was harboring ill will against him for causing us so much pain and heartache. While he was not innocent in what he did and said, I also was as guilty for “hating” him for what he had done to us.
God does have perfect timing though. Just this past week, my BSF lesson focused on Romans 12:9-21. In this passage, Paul gives 26 commands on how to love God, God’s family, and your enemies. One of the questions asked in my lesson was, “Think of a personal enemy…” I stared at that question for quite a while until I thought of our former senior pastor. But in the midst of writing his name down, I was overcome with such a sense of compassion that it immediately caused me to stop everything I was doing and pray for him, his family, and our former church. He is no longer an enemy of mine. His sins, just like mine, where paid for by Christ on the cross. Even if this situation had not come up, I do not need to wish harm on or to avenge the situation any longer.
I thought this happening would give me such a sense of relief and justification. But it hasn’t. It’s only brought my past sins to light and forced me to deal with them. It’s also given me compassion and empathy I didn’t know I had.
Forgiveness is powerful. It is not natural or easy. It is something done in the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit.
And it is something that I’ve needed to give for a long time.
In the years that have followed, we have worked through many issues such as healing, forgiveness, and bitterness. We attended a wonderful church right after our move that brought a lot of healing and laughter back into our lives. And now Brad is doing what he loves...working with students with like-minded people in a very healthy church. He is surrounded by men and women with very similar philosophies of ministry, who have been great supporters, encouragers, and mentors to him. We could not be happier with where God has placed us.
In the last week, though, we have learned of some very hard times at our former church. Some situations have arisen which may ultimately cost the senior pastor his position. In the few details that were shared with Brad, one of them was that Brad should feel very vindicated by what has been brought to light.
A few years ago, I would have said, “Absolutely! It serves the senior pastor right for all the pain he put us through!”
But today, all I can think of is the pain that he and his family must be going through. How will he be able to leave a church he has pastored for 20 years? How will this affect his wife and 8 children…5 of which are still at home? How will this affect him emotionally and physically? How can he leave an 8,000 member community of which he knows and loves?
No, I’m realizing that the #1 person who really needed to change and really needed healing was me. I was the one holding onto bitterness…holding it against him that he forced us away from our students and from a teaching position that I loved. I was harboring ill will against him for causing us so much pain and heartache. While he was not innocent in what he did and said, I also was as guilty for “hating” him for what he had done to us.
God does have perfect timing though. Just this past week, my BSF lesson focused on Romans 12:9-21. In this passage, Paul gives 26 commands on how to love God, God’s family, and your enemies. One of the questions asked in my lesson was, “Think of a personal enemy…” I stared at that question for quite a while until I thought of our former senior pastor. But in the midst of writing his name down, I was overcome with such a sense of compassion that it immediately caused me to stop everything I was doing and pray for him, his family, and our former church. He is no longer an enemy of mine. His sins, just like mine, where paid for by Christ on the cross. Even if this situation had not come up, I do not need to wish harm on or to avenge the situation any longer.
I thought this happening would give me such a sense of relief and justification. But it hasn’t. It’s only brought my past sins to light and forced me to deal with them. It’s also given me compassion and empathy I didn’t know I had.
Forgiveness is powerful. It is not natural or easy. It is something done in the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit.
And it is something that I’ve needed to give for a long time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)