Yearning for heaven

As I was going to bed last night, I was thinking that life was really hard and that I wish it wasn't so hard at times. Now it's not that I was depressed or sad or anything like that. It was just a complete realization that life is HARD! (As if this should be new to me or something!)

Yesterday was a good day, but a hard one. My MOPS group has play dates during the summer, and we were to meet at a beach/park area yesterday. Some weeks there are more moms than others, but there are usually between 5-8 moms that show up. I loaded up the kiddos and all their stuff (beach toys, towels, snacks, swimsuits, water, sunscreen, etc.) and headed to the lake with a 1 year old (who cannot be unattended because he LOVES to eat sand) and a 2 1/2 year old (who immediately runs straight for the water). I was a little worried at first, but Sammy obeyed really well, and Caleb was content to float around in his baby floaty device. After about an hour, I realized that no one else was going to show up. I enjoyed the time with the kids, but I was hoping for some adult interaction. (Oh, and I forgot the camera so I got nothing for those of you who want to see adorable pics of the kids.)

So I packed them up and headed to church to have lunch with Brad. As soon as I got there and got our lunches out, Brad mentioned that he was invited to go to lunch with 2 other pastors. So I told him to go ahead, and I'd eat with the kids and then head home. I really didn't mind that he went out to lunch, but I had been hoping to spend a little time with him since he was going to be at church until around 9:30 that night.

After lunch and the ride home, it was time for naps. Caleb went down just fine, but Sammy tried EVERY excuse not to nap (and it really isn't very smart to try and reason with a 2 1/2 year old). So I didn't get anything (like laundry, grad school, etc.) done. Then around 5:00, I met up with some neighbors to walk to our nearby park for National Night Out. I was looking forward to having a free meal (yummy pulled pork sandwiches, chips, and baked beans) and walking with our neighbors. But feeding 2 small kids at a park where there TONS of FUN things to do was pretty difficult. We eventually (after a lot of swinging and sliding) got home around 7:30.

Then it was bath time. I really like having Brad home on bath nights because sometimes it gets a little tricky with both kids. Sammy is fine, but Caleb is a little stinker! He tries to climb all over the place and will not cooperate! So after a very wet bath (for all 3 of us) it was time for snacks, books, and bedtime. Surprising enough, both kids were in their rooms and quiet by 8:30.

It was a good day, but an exhausting one...but one that is pretty typical of my life right now. But as I was reflecting on the day, I realized that I really just want my life to be easy...to play with my "perfectly behaved" children...to have a date night with my husband EVERY week...to have a maid do all my laundry and dishes. Okay, so I'm dreaming, I know, but days like today make me really yearn for heaven. I love so many things about this world, but it's NOT our home and this was NOT what God had intended. And even though I would be so sad to leave my children or husband, I long for the day that Christ will call me home. To be in His presence without worry or anxiety or pain is exactly where I want to be.

So, as I live each day, with its joys and struggles, I will try to put things in perspective that this life will be hard, but the next will be far greatly than my wildest dreams.