Where to start?

Have you ever stood before a task that was so daunting that you had no idea where to start?

And the longer you put off starting this task, the larger and more overwhelming it became?

Then, after spending days, weeks, or months pretending the task didn't even exist, you stand before it with all hope stripped away of even starting...let alone completing it?

Nope, I've never felt that way either!

Oh, where to start?

So many others around me are facing obstacles that I can't even imagine. They live daily with chronic pain...they care diligently for a handicapped child...they pray weekly for enough money to buy groceries for their family.

And I often feel like I'm complaining too much...that I should just put on a happy face since my present circumstances don't compare to what others are going through.

Yet, each of us are on a different journey. One that can't be compared to others. One that God has specifically set before each of His children.

And for our little family, it's been a difficult last year and a half.

And just when we seem to get our bearings, it seems our course is again altered and we are floundering around again trying to steady ourselves.

In the midst of these struggles, so much of myself has been put on hold so that the current "super high priority task" or event can be finished or completed.

Things like scrapbooking, running, blogging, organizing....things that rejuvenate me and motivate me have been placed to the side.

Like a neglected pet in a dark corner of the room....with sad, brown eyes and a soft whimper...and a cold, wet little nose that just aches to nestle with its owner....

Can you tell I used to be an English teacher?

And those favorite past-times and hobbies which have brought me so much joy, have now become daunting tasks. It seems every time I think about diving into one, I let defeat, exhaustion, and a list of other excuses break my spirit even before my feet take one step.

But tonight, as I was looking through some pictures from this year and day-dreaming about what it would be like to actually jot down some of my thoughts in an actual blog post....

I decided to do it. Even if it costs me some extra sleep tonight.

Despite the current circumstances of my life, my days are filled with incredible blessings from God. And these blessings mostly come in the form of my amazing husband and adorable children. I have never been more grateful for their loving and divine placement in my life as I am right now.

Like most mothers, I don't take nearly as many pictures as I should of me with each of my children. I have a ton of pictures of each of them, but few of them with me.

These first three pictures were taken Easter weekend. It's the last time I took a picture of me with each of my precious kiddos...but hopefully I will resolve that soon!

My sweet Sammy...

Caleb...my goofy son!

Hannah...who daily lives up to her middle name: Joy!

You would also think that I would have a plethora of pictures of Brad and me from the times we've been able to spend time together away from our kids.

You would think....

There are many, many, many much more beautiful pictures from the Canadian Rockies, but this is one of my favorites...despite the rain and the clouds that day.

I can't wait for our next adventure, hon!

And most recently....Sammy on her first day of school! She is going to be six next month, and I find myself trying desperately to hold onto this precious age.

Caleb...some days there just aren't any words for my silly, goofy, highly entertaining son!

Oh, and sweet, sweet Hannah! Like I said: Pure Joy!

Where do I start and where do I go from here?

I'm not sure, but I do know that I don't want to look back at this time and regret not focusing on the many blessings that God has given me. I don't want to have this entire chunk of my life empty...because I just didn't have the motivation or emotional energy to write about the very good things in my life...in the midst of the hard.

So, hold onto your boot straps! I've got some great stories and pictures to share!