But as I've been watching many of them share their exciting news with other friends and family members, the reactions have been much different from when they announced their 1st or 2nd or 3rd little "addition" to their family.
Instead of the typical excited squeals and hugs of congratulations like with their previous pregnancies, it seems that with every "new" announcement my friends give, they are not congratulated but are rather confronted with comments and questions such as,
"You know what causes this, don't you?"
"Was this pregnancy planned or an accident?"
"Don't you think that you already have your hands full with the children you have?"
"You guys are done after this one, aren't you?
"My, you are going to be busy!"
And the one that especially saddens are those "well wishers" who in one breath say, "Children are a blessing from the Lord," and the next, "You are done after this one, aren't you?"
Even with my own life, when I have tossed out the idea to various people that we may not be done having children, I have received similar comments/questions...this one being the most recent:
"That's probably not a wise idea at this time for you guys, is it?"
Now I admit I have had some of those same thoughts about other newly expecting mamas and have even chatted a few times with Brad or another friend or two about it.
But after learning that several of our friends have had their vasectomies reversed and a growing number of our closest friends are having larger families (more than 2 or 3 children), my thinking (and that of husband's) has been challenged. Brad and I are becoming more and more convicted that we have had a wrong and unbiblical view of children and that these thoughts have been shaped more by the world and its sometimes subtle views on children than the Bible's view.
Think about it...what does the world say about children?
They are a burden.
They will inconvenience your life.
They are work.
They are exhausting.
You should DEFINITELY stop after your 2nd or 3rd.
Start counting down the days until they are 18 and out of your home.
How are you going to afford another child?
The negative comments only escalate as the number of children in your home grows. Just think about all the critical words the world has for large families today.
But yet there are over 400 references to "children" in the Bible. And the only time children are looked down upon are by those who tried to keep them from Jesus.
"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have Him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them." Mark 10:13-16 (NIV)
I find it interesting that this exact story is in three of the four Gospels.
So as I've been wrestling through what the world and what the Bible says about children, I've come to a few conclusions:
- Children are a blessing from the Lord...whether the pregnancy was planned or if the parents were entirely ready for his or her arrival...every single child is a blessing. And they are a blessing because they are created in the image of God and are knit together by Him in the womb.
- They are also a blessing because they cause us to become less selfish, more patient, and more giving. My days of sleeping in (as a whole) are over! I have to care for my children, feed them, read to them the same book over and over again. Much of my own refining and sanctification happens as a result of having them live with me every day in my home.
- They are a blessing because of their sheer enjoyment! Many days in my parenting I have taken such delight in watching one of my children take their first step or say a new word for the first time. Some days they still drive me crazy, but the joy they bring me and my husband far outweigh the rough days.
So should everyone, therefore go out and have as many children as they can? That's not the point I'm trying to make. The issue is not the number of children that we have, but it's our attitude towards them and the value we place on them.
With all this in mind, I have been reminded again and challenged even more to continue look through the lens of Scripture as I process what the world is saying. Especially when it comes to children.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12:2 (NIV)
