another life lesson to be learned.
Brad has often said to me, "This is the craziest life I've ever known."
Most days I just smile and shake my head at him.
But today, I agree with him fully!
We are so grateful for God's sweet mercy! Brad's white blood count slightly increased from 2.1 to 2.4 and his neutrophils increased from .8 to 1.2.
So he's out of the danger zone again, and he can say good-bye to his mask!
Wearing a medical mask in 95 degree weather is no fun AT ALL people!
Because his numbers have increased instead of decrease, we can also wait another 2 weeks until his next blood draw. And continue to pray that his bone marrow finally figures out how to produce more white blood cells.
In the meanwhile, Brad will do his best to rest and take care of his body, and I will do my best to keep him doing just that.
As we were driving from the hospital, I could not help but think about how this cancer journey parallels a Christian life. The similarities suddenly struck me today.
We have made summer plans, but we know that Brad's numbers will determine whether we're able to fulfill and live out those plans. Each week we may have to adjust our lives in light of a blood draw or chemotherapy treatment or new symptoms of a possible infection.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."
- Proverbs 16:9
I am so much more aware at this moment, more than I've ever been in my life, that my life is not my own and the Lord will lead and do as he wills. He establishes our steps. I make plans, but the Lord is in control of all things.
And all will be for our good and his glory.
My mantra has become...
“...if the Lord wills...” - James 4:15
So, we continue to try and live a (new) normal life...we make plans, but hold onto them loosely.
Not only am I learning to use the phrase, "Lord willing," more and to guard my heart if summer plans have to be altered or changed, but I'm also learning how to be content with just knowing the very next step in Brad's medical journey.
Brad and I were eager to talk at his appointment yesterday about whether he can still direct our church's VBS in 2 weeks or if we can go on our Aust family vacation in late July.
But our oncologist doesn't know.
We don't know.
Nobody but God knows.
We just have to be content with taking it one step at a time.
God is giving us just enough light to see the next step on our path. He's encouraged our hearts by increasing Brad's numbers this week, but the final answer for VBS will be given on June 21, at Brad's next blood draw. Right now we can't see that step.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." -Psalm 119:105
One step at a time.
That's pretty hard for the 6 month planner in me...
But it's good.
So good for me.
Whatever control I thought I had concerning Brad's health and recovery, I realize I don't.
But I trust the One who does know. The One who lovingly leads and guides us each day. The One who is control of all things.
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