In the hands of the Father

I realized today that I am not going to be able to protect Sammy from every danger. I knew this in my head, but I'm really coming to believe it.

I've always done a pretty good job at keeping an eye on Sammy. She's pretty obedient, and our house is relatively danger free. At least, that's what I thought until Wednesday morning.

I just turned around for a second to tend to the fire in our fireplace. When I turned back around, Sammy had gotten into an end table drawer. She had an empty package of size A23 batteries in one hand and one battery in her mouth, with her lips tightly closed. I screamed, and quickly got the battery out of her mouth. But that's when I really started to panic. I didn't know where the second battery was! I couldn't remember if Brad had already opened the plastic wrapping and used one battery. I was petrified that she swallowed one. I immediately called Brad, asked him if he had used the other battery, and continued to grill him for at least 2 full minutes when he couldn't remember right away. He finally remembered that he thought he put a new battery in his garage door opener. While he ran out to his car to check, I began to pace back and forth, with poison control's number in my hand. When he returned to the phone with good news, I finally breathed a sigh of relief, and held Sammy tightly in my arms.

Today as Sammy was walking to me, she fell pretty hard on her face. She really doesn't cry much when she falls down or hits her head, but it took me a bit longer than normal to calm her down. When her tears stopped, I happened to take a good look at her face, and I realized that she was bleeding and had put a pretty good size cut on her nose. I freaked out, washed her face, and again, held her tightly in my arms.

Now I know that kids fall and get hurt. But when it's your own child, it really affects you. Now I hear you veteran parents saying, “The older she gets and the more children you have, the less you will worry about this.” You’re probably right, but for right now, these incidents have affected me very deeply. I want her to be safe. I want her to be happy. I want to protect her from everything.

Being a parent causes you to trust God like you never have before.

I've just got to remember that He is the one who sent me this child, made me a parent, and gave me the job of loving and raising this child. And even though I can’t fully comprehend it, He loves Sammy so much more than I do. He too is concerned about her choices and her fears and her heartaches. He too wants the best for her. And, to my incredibly grateful heart, unlike me and her father someday, He will be with her always and never leave or forsake her.