Christmas in North Dakota

Brad, Sammy, and I spent about 5 days in Bismarck, ND with my family over Christmas. We were able to go to an alumni basketball game at my high school, see a couple of old friends, and meet my brother's girlfriend, Nikki and her twin daughters. While it is fun to get out of the house for a few days and see family, having all 12 of us in one house for Christmas dinner was a bit crazy. Sammy had the worse cold she's ever had in her short 14 months, and sleep was hard to come by for her. She was cranky and whiny and not her normal happy self. But no matter how chaotic it got at times, or how I wished things could have been done a bit differently, I really do enjoy going home and as we drove away, I'm always glad we made it home.

I know for me, going back home and to the house I grew up always causes me to be filled with mixed emotions. While I loved growing up where I did, when I return, I realize how much I have changed from that 18 year old girl who left home for college in another state. The person I've become always seems to conflict with the person I was then. And I feel like I fall back into some of the crazy family cycles...cycles that I've tried hard to break.

I think no matter how perfect or imperfect your family is, every one has some sort of dysfunction. And each of our families of origin has made us into wonderful people and also people with a lot of extra baggage and problems. And as we start our own families, we try to take the really good from our family's past and try to repeat those good things and also try to NOT repeat the bad.

No matter how much some of us deny it, our families have a profound impact on our lives.

And even as I still think today of how I hard some moments were at home, I am reminded of (all 12 of us) sitting down for Christmas dinner; watching Beth, Jess, Samantha, and Ashley chase Sammy around the house; and (all 12 of us) going to church Sunday morning as one family.

Priceless.