"If it matters, you make the time. If it doesn’t, you make excuses." from Ann Voskamp's blog
Day 2 of a new year...yet all my new ideas and habits didn't go as swimmingly as I had hoped...
Thankful for new mercies and grace every morning!
"Tomorrow, it will descend like a fresh dew, a fresh snow, and it will come again — Fresh grace all over again." - Ann Voskamp
I posted that on my Facebook wall a few days ago as I was struggling with implementing new habits in this new year.
It's now 5 days later, and things are still not going as planned.
I realized that no matter how much I love spending time evaluating my shepherding of my children and discovering better ways to manage my home and dissecting my day to determine how I can use my time more wisely and making lists on how to add these positive changes into my life, it's not like there's anything magical that happens when the calendar flips from December to January.
There's no *POOF* and new habits are miraculously implemented.
At least that hasn't happened to me.
But what there is...is grace.
And grace has fallen so sweetly on me this past 6 months.
So, here I am...on January 7 (and not January 1, like I had hoped) ...finally writing a post...after months of setting my blog aside completely to focus on my family's transition to the Twin Cities and seminary life...and I'm not even writing about what I had intended to!
Please, someone tell me this doesn't just happen to me!
So my post on "16 things I've learned during my husband's 1st semester in seminary" and "101 crazy things that Caleb can build with popsicle sticks" and "21 ways to survive on 4-5 hours of sleep per night" will just have to wait.
Because I just can't shake or get out of my mind something that Jason Meyer, Bethlehem Baptist Church's new Pastor of Preaching and Vision, said in his sermon.
He was sharing a bit about how God led him and many others to believe he would be John Piper's successor. He shared how he didn't want this path...how this wasn't something he wanted to pursue...how he tried to give every reason why he wasn't the guy for the job...and then he shared what he felt God was saying to him...
"What if this (becoming John Piper's successor) is the way that you will have more of Me?"
And my mind began to race.
I began to think of the "this" in my own life.
Moving.
Leaving my support system of 8 years.
Leaving the comforts of a regular, steady, and reliable paycheck.
The endless work of a foreclosed home.
The rigor of seminary.
Uncertainties.
Anxiety about finances.
Lack of time for...well...anything.
And...
...the incredible joy and dependence and satisfaction that can only come from being in the very center of God's will as He leads and provides and continues to make a way when there seems to be only rocky terrain.
Yes, even though "this" has been a rough and very difficult road at times, "this" has been good.
Very good.
As the day as progressed, I began to think of the "this" in so many of my dear friend's lives.
Loneliness.
Depression.
Illness.
Cancer.
Aging parents.
What if we resolved in our hearts and minds that whatever the "this" is for us, that we would fully embrace it because we know that by going through "this" we will have more of Jesus?
More of His grace and mercy and joy and hope for a future with Him...
I need more of Him. I've learned very deeply and quite clearly that I need more of Him now than any other time in my life.
And I've learned that "this" is just the very beginning of truly needing Him. For what lies ahead of us after this time of training and preparation will be filled with even more hardship and sleepless nights as Brad preaches and leads his congregation and is filled with sorrow for the lost and withstands criticism and hurts by those close to him.
Because "this" is where God is leading us.
And I don't want to waste "this".
Did I truly want or completely embrace this change for me and my family a year ago? No. Would I change anything? Not one, little, seemingly insignificant detail.
For "this" is exactly where I fully desire to be.
I posted that on my Facebook wall a few days ago as I was struggling with implementing new habits in this new year.
It's now 5 days later, and things are still not going as planned.
I realized that no matter how much I love spending time evaluating my shepherding of my children and discovering better ways to manage my home and dissecting my day to determine how I can use my time more wisely and making lists on how to add these positive changes into my life, it's not like there's anything magical that happens when the calendar flips from December to January.
There's no *POOF* and new habits are miraculously implemented.
At least that hasn't happened to me.
But what there is...is grace.
And grace has fallen so sweetly on me this past 6 months.
So, here I am...on January 7 (and not January 1, like I had hoped) ...finally writing a post...after months of setting my blog aside completely to focus on my family's transition to the Twin Cities and seminary life...and I'm not even writing about what I had intended to!
Please, someone tell me this doesn't just happen to me!
So my post on "16 things I've learned during my husband's 1st semester in seminary" and "101 crazy things that Caleb can build with popsicle sticks" and "21 ways to survive on 4-5 hours of sleep per night" will just have to wait.
Because I just can't shake or get out of my mind something that Jason Meyer, Bethlehem Baptist Church's new Pastor of Preaching and Vision, said in his sermon.
He was sharing a bit about how God led him and many others to believe he would be John Piper's successor. He shared how he didn't want this path...how this wasn't something he wanted to pursue...how he tried to give every reason why he wasn't the guy for the job...and then he shared what he felt God was saying to him...
"What if this (becoming John Piper's successor) is the way that you will have more of Me?"
And my mind began to race.
I began to think of the "this" in my own life.
Moving.
Leaving my support system of 8 years.
Leaving the comforts of a regular, steady, and reliable paycheck.
The endless work of a foreclosed home.
The rigor of seminary.
Uncertainties.
Anxiety about finances.
Lack of time for...well...anything.
And...
...the incredible joy and dependence and satisfaction that can only come from being in the very center of God's will as He leads and provides and continues to make a way when there seems to be only rocky terrain.
Yes, even though "this" has been a rough and very difficult road at times, "this" has been good.
Very good.
As the day as progressed, I began to think of the "this" in so many of my dear friend's lives.
Loneliness.
Depression.
Illness.
Cancer.
Aging parents.
What if we resolved in our hearts and minds that whatever the "this" is for us, that we would fully embrace it because we know that by going through "this" we will have more of Jesus?
More of His grace and mercy and joy and hope for a future with Him...
I need more of Him. I've learned very deeply and quite clearly that I need more of Him now than any other time in my life.
And I've learned that "this" is just the very beginning of truly needing Him. For what lies ahead of us after this time of training and preparation will be filled with even more hardship and sleepless nights as Brad preaches and leads his congregation and is filled with sorrow for the lost and withstands criticism and hurts by those close to him.
Because "this" is where God is leading us.
And I don't want to waste "this".
Did I truly want or completely embrace this change for me and my family a year ago? No. Would I change anything? Not one, little, seemingly insignificant detail.
For "this" is exactly where I fully desire to be.
2 comments:
wow! well put
Beautifully spoken. And so concise!
I love it. Thank you for this reminder, Jenny!
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