MOPS woes

I really enjoy going to MOPS every two weeks. I have a couple of good friends who overlap into my BSF discussion group or small group at church that I've gotten to know pretty well. I love all the great food...and the games, discussions, and speakers. Plus it's just wonderful dropping Sammy off in the nursery for two hours and knowing that she's being very well taken care of and getting to play with other children her age...plus, every parent LOVES free childcare!

But I've been feeling a little bit on the outside looking in when it comes to the women at my table. I know all of them through church or BSF, but they were a very tight group before I was placed at their table about a year ago. While I've made some improvements and have done some meal making and scrapbooking with them, I realized this past Tuesday that I'm still the odd man out.

I don't know if what sets me apart is that my children are much younger then most of theirs...most of them have older children with just one young child (4 or 5 years of age) still in MOPS...or if it's because they've been married longer and have much more income than Brad and I do...and some of them work at least part time as well.

Anyway, there were only 6 of us there on Tuesday. (The other two moms...who happen to kind of be in the same financial spot Brad and I are in were gone for some reason...lucky me.) And of the 6 of us, 5...or shall I say ALL the other women besides me...were taking a Disney cruise together the next week. (One of them works as a travel agent for Disney and organizes cruises and other Disney vacations for families.) And a lot of the discussion for that day was about the cruise and when they were leaving and making appointments to get manicures done and so forth.

Now I LOVE hearing about other people's trips and vacations, and maybe it was just the mood I was in, but I just couldn't help feeling sorry for myself. This is the tightest year financially for us, and we are just hoping and praying to save enough money for my grad school and for a cruise in 2 1/2 years. And while I'm so grateful for all that we have, it was so hard for me to not think about what I was missing out on. I was happy for them, really, but I was so sad that it will be YEARS before Brad and I can enjoy something like that.

I know that in a few days I'll feel better about it, and maybe I just have to spend some time thanking God for what He has blessed us with...and also asking forgiveness for being envious.

I guess it's just hard some days to be content. And no matter what season your in, there's always something more you are wishing for.

And today, I am really wishing for a vacation in the sun.