Ode to my husband

Yesterday I was overcome with what an amazing man I am married to. I was sitting at my MOPS table, having a wonderful time chatting about our kids and our lives, and as I listened to the other women share about their husbands and what they do (and don't do) around the house, with the kids, etc. I was so proud to be married to Brad.

Now Brad is not perfect (and neither am I), but he does have some wonderful qualities. He's always had a good financial mind. We began investing early in our marriage and paid off all our college debt in just 4 1/2 years. We keep a pretty tight budget, but Brad has encouraged us to save a good amount in case of an emergency. He's knows some about car and home repair, but he's always willing to spend the time to research and ask people who know. He's not afraid to try to do something on his own or something new. (And I've learned it's okay if it takes him longer than normal or if he makes a big mess in the process.)

He's kept our marriage a priority and has added a "marriage enrichment" category to our budget so that we spend money on ourselves and dates and flowers for me! We've done three marriage retreats in 7 1/2 years, and have taken numerous adventurous trips together.

Over the years, he's helped me grade student's homework, traveled with me to speech meets in Wisconsin, stayed late with me at school, and has videotaped and done photography for my musicals. He's always supported my teaching and has even shown me tough love as I've tried to do too much. He's been my biggest encourager, and has agreed to make the financial sacrifice so that I can go to grad school this fall.

Daily I am so grateful for his love and devotion to Samantha. There is nothing he wouldn't do for her, and he is a big help with her in the evenings and weekends. He can make her laugh like no one else can. Even though we do cloth diapers, he's never complained about changing her. He even dresses her and does her hair from time to time. And as I've gotten bigger and more uncomfortable, he's stepped up and given Sammy baths and has given me the chance to rest.

He's still my best friend and I would rather be with him than anyone else. And even though we don't always do it very often, we do read marriage and parenting books and pray together. Even if the business of life gets in the way, I know that it is still a priority to him that we do it.

I often take Brad for granted and just expect him to do certain things and be a certain way. But I'm learning that a lot of husbands out there are NOT like Brad, and he really does a lot for me and for our family.

And for that I am very grateful.

TV Junkie

Brad and I have created a monster!

About two weeks ago, we turned the TV on one morning so Sammy could watch Sesame Street for awhile so we could finish some things. Now up to this point we really didn't let her watch a lot of TV. Sometimes the news would be on in the background while she was playing or we'd watch Survivor together until her bedtime. I would occasionally put in her Baby Einstein video, but I would sit and watch it with her and talk with her about what she was seeing and hearing. I NEVER wanted to be one of THOSE parents who used the TV as a babysitter...

Well, she enjoyed it so much that she watched almost all of it and then asked for more. Because it was a very crazy week and I had a lot to do, I put in her video and continued my chores. I couldn't believe how much I got done in that short hour and a half! Before we knew it, we'd turn Sesame Street on at 9:00 most mornings so Brad and I could eat breakfast together and spend a little time together before he headed off to work at 9:45.

Now fast forward a week. Brad and I rented a video one night and found out that we could also check out 3 additional children’s videos for FREE. Well, the one Baby Einstein video was getting pretty boring, so I grabbed 3 videos for Sammy. Before I knew it, Sammy was turning both the TV and VCR on every morning after breakfast and asking for a video EVERY DAY. Brad and I looked at each other and realized that in a few days, we had created a TV JUNKIE!

So we’ve gone cold turkey and stopped letting Sammy watch videos or Sesame Street for a few days. Her whining and pouting has increased dramatically, but I know it’s our own fault. Now, after 3 days, she doesn’t even go for the TV or VCR. But of course, I’m on the floor playing with her more and putting my housework on hold.

It’s funny. As I watched Sammy pout yesterday, I realized that God was also shaking His head at me and lovingly say “No” …just like I did with Sammy.

One Saturday, Brad and I test drove a Toyota minivan and a Honda Odyssey. Now two months ago, we had decided that we would wait to buy a minivan until our Honda Civic or Accord died. (They both have between 100,000 and 145,000 miles on them, but are still in really good condition.) We were both content with that. It would be tight on long trips with two kids, but we thought we could make it work. Then last week we started looking at our savings and playing around with some numbers and decided that we could look at minivans and if the right one came along, then we’d consider it. And when I test drove that Odyssey (knowing that we just wanted to get a feel for it and were not really interested in purchasing THAT PARTICULAR ONE), I was blown away by its handling on the road and all the features. I REALLY wanted a minivan…and even though it was several thousand outside our price range, I really wanted THAT minivan.

I spend the rest of the weekend thinking about a minivan and how badly I wanted one right now! And after looking at our finances again and seeing how much we could get for our Accord, we realized we actually had less to spend than we thought. Now I was really upset.

I had caught the materialism bug and started pouting about not getting my own way.

It took me awhile to really lay it at God’s feet, and after Brad and I prayed about it, I am more content with just how things are. There is an older Odyssey with more miles on it for sale that we may go look at, but we’re not holding our breath. If it fits into within our budget, then great. If not, our Accord will do just fine.

We, as humans, often create trouble for ourselves…more than we think. We call it bad luck or blame it on someone else. But our decisions and desires motivate us to be like the world…with its materialism and self-centeredness. Just this week we studied Romans 12:1-2 in BSF. It’s hard to not be influenced by the world, but it is reasonable for us to not conform to the pattern of this world and to offer ourselves as living sacrifices because of what God has done for us. It is not easy sometimes, but it is reasonable for God to ask this of us. Our desire to obey God should overflow from every pore in our bodies because of His mercy and what He has already done in our lives.

So even though it’s been a tough lesson to learn, I really don’t want Sammy OR MYSELF to have too much media influence…because the more I listen to the world, the more I take my focus off God and His many blessings in my life.

The Big 3-0!

On Friday I celebrated my 30th birthday. Brad (whose 31st birthday was yesterday) and I had wanted to plan a game/movie night with some of our friends here in Brainerd, but almost every night since March 1 has been booked with some other event or activity. So perhaps later this month we can have a belated celebration with friends.

Brad and I did have a wonderful evening together, just the two of us. Even though we take Sammy pretty much wherever we go, we decided to get a sitter. And as I think about it, over the last year we've only really gotten sitters for Sammy if we're doing a group date or some special event for MOPS. I guess it really hasn't been a big deal for me to pack up some food or toys for her and take her along. I've just gotten used to waiting on her first before eating or carrying her around on all my errands. And she's usually such a great kid, we almost never have any disobedient behavior.

But on Friday Brad arranged a babysitter, and we had such a relaxing time together.

We went on a long walk in a really pretty part of town, went out to eat (at a restaurant that gives free meals on your birthday), ran a quick errand at Menards, and finished our evening at Cold Stone (where they also give you a free LOVE IT original ice cream if you join their on-line fan club). Now all these things we could have done easily with Sammy. But, especially during the meal, I realized that when Sammy's with us, I almost never eat my meal when it's fully warm. I realized that I didn't have to carry her food cooler or diaper bag. And there was no getting her in and out of the car seat (which is a task I DO NOT enjoy). We had some really good conversation on our walk and during our meal, and I felt so relaxed that I almost forgot I had children!

Even though Brad and I work really hard at making sure we have time together and time for each of us to spend without Sammy, I spend so much time with her that she's almost like having another arm. While I think it's good not to feel inconvenienced by your child and to add them into all areas of your life, I also think time away from her makes me a better mom. And maybe I don't mind being with her so much because I know how CRAZY life is going to get in four months when her baby brother shows up.

I still can’t quite put my finger on it…but I do know that as I become older and more children are added to our family, the time I spend without them is sometimes just as important as the time I spend with them. Because the more relaxed and refreshed I am, the better mom I am to them.

IT'S A BOY!

When we learned what we were having with our first pregnancy, we decided to keep the gender to ourselves and family and close friends. We didn't tell anyone in the Brainerd area...especially the students in our youth group. It was a secret that Brad and I only knew...a game...one that we enjoyed greatly! But with this one, we didn't want to put people through that torture. (Once was good enough!) So when we had our ultrasound this week, we've told pretty much anyone who would listen that we're having a boy.

While I am so excited (and a bit scared) about having a boy, what is more exciting is the fact that the baby is healthy, active, and growing. Seeing a picture of your unborn child moving and squirming and sucking his thumb...from inside you...is something that touches your soul. Even though you KNOW you are pregnant and are carrying a child, seeing his or her little face on the screen makes it become so much more real.

I've been very blessed to have had two major ultrasounds with both pregnancies. When I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant with Sammy, (and very, very sick) the Lakes Area Pregnancy Support (LAPS) just received their very first ultrasound machine and was looking for volunteers. Even though Sammy looked more like a bean with little sprouts for arms and legs, it was such a miracle to me. Then seeing her again at 22 weeks was so wonderful to see how she had grown...how God truly knit her together inside my body. With this pregnancy, LAPS was updating their machine and again needed models. What a treat to see the baby two days in a row!

Tonight I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I am still reveling in the fact that there will be a lot more blue around the house in a few months. I am also becoming a little more nervous about how I will do with a 20 month old and a newborn. I’m also thinking about how Sammy’s younger brother might just overtake her in size if she continues to grow at the rate she is.

But the most important thought is not about what his name will be or what colors to paint Sammy’s room to make it gender neutral, but it’s a thought and spirit of thankfulness. Because while I’m sitting here feeling my son kick and squirm, a good friend of mine just miscarried last week. And even though things could change in a minute, I am thankful for this moment and for whatever God has planned for me, this baby, and our family.