When we learned what we were having with our first pregnancy, we decided to keep the gender to ourselves and family and close friends. We didn't tell anyone in the Brainerd area...especially the students in our youth group. It was a secret that Brad and I only knew...a game...one that we enjoyed greatly! But with this one, we didn't want to put people through that torture. (Once was good enough!) So when we had our ultrasound this week, we've told pretty much anyone who would listen that we're having a boy.
While I am so excited (and a bit scared) about having a boy, what is more exciting is the fact that the baby is healthy, active, and growing. Seeing a picture of your unborn child moving and squirming and sucking his thumb...from inside you...is something that touches your soul. Even though you KNOW you are pregnant and are carrying a child, seeing his or her little face on the screen makes it become so much more real.
I've been very blessed to have had two major ultrasounds with both pregnancies. When I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant with Sammy, (and very, very sick) the Lakes Area Pregnancy Support (LAPS) just received their very first ultrasound machine and was looking for volunteers. Even though Sammy looked more like a bean with little sprouts for arms and legs, it was such a miracle to me. Then seeing her again at 22 weeks was so wonderful to see how she had grown...how God truly knit her together inside my body. With this pregnancy, LAPS was updating their machine and again needed models. What a treat to see the baby two days in a row!
Tonight I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I am still reveling in the fact that there will be a lot more blue around the house in a few months. I am also becoming a little more nervous about how I will do with a 20 month old and a newborn. I’m also thinking about how Sammy’s younger brother might just overtake her in size if she continues to grow at the rate she is.
But the most important thought is not about what his name will be or what colors to paint Sammy’s room to make it gender neutral, but it’s a thought and spirit of thankfulness. Because while I’m sitting here feeling my son kick and squirm, a good friend of mine just miscarried last week. And even though things could change in a minute, I am thankful for this moment and for whatever God has planned for me, this baby, and our family.
2 comments:
Expect Sammy to reject you or be mean to you or something like that to prepare yourself if Sammy reacts negatively. She'll get over it fairly quickly, but it's rough (if she acts like that!). I cried and cried. But Maya did come around. And talk about the baby as much as possible right now. That's one thing I wish we had done more of! But Sammy may be okay and react just fine! Remember God is in control and He loves your kids more than you do. And ultimately, as Sammy gets older, she will be so grateful for a close friend in her brother!
As Brad and I have been discussing
life after the baby comes he said, "Maybe we should just start ignoring Sammy now." : ) I'm trying to soak up as much advice as I can so that I can make the transition as painless as possible. It just kinda scares me that I only have four more months!
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