Confessions of a housewife

I have a confession to make. Now before I come clean, I have to give some background information. I love people, (I am an extrovert by nature.) and I love to cook. So it only makes sense that I would become the "hostess with the mostest." Now, my confession has nothing to do with the "hosting" part--I love to host, but it has to do with what happens before people (including the teenagers in our youth group) come over.

We have had people at our house 4 out of the last 6 weekends. Now the fact that we are SO BUSY is a topic for my blog another time, but the point is that I had to cook, clean, and prepare for company almost every week for 6 weeks. This is where my confession lies...I am an out of control, over compulsive cleaner, organizer, and neat freak. Even though I may have just cleaned the toilet 2 days ago, if we have company coming, it needs to be cleaned again. My bed has to be made every day...or else I can't seem to focus on anything else. Every mirror in my house must be clean of Sammy's little fingerprints before anyone walks through my front door. I have to have plenty of veggies, fruit, and snacks in my house for anyone who gets hungry. And I force (yes, sometimes I don't even ask nicely) my husband to help vacuum and wipe the dishes. I fly into such a panic getting everything ready for company that I'm usually working on something right up to the time people arrive.

Dr. Phil always says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." So this is my complete acknowledgement of the person I am. Now I have greatly relaxed over the years...if I don't have every meal prepared before company comes, I don't lose THAT much sleep over it...only a couple of hours. And I don't try to clean up Sammy's toys 30 seconds after she's played with them. And I don't blow up at my husband anymore if he does a quick job vacuuming and leaves one crumb on the carpet. I can even let the dishes pile up in my sink for at least a day, even though it still sometimes drives me crazy.

And what I've learned about my compulsive behavior is that it's not God honoring. I'm making THINGS more important than PEOPLE. I am giving a foothold for anger to creep into my marriage. I am working myself up so that I grimace every time I think of having people over.

I think Dr. Phil is right. But now that I acknowledge how I am, I can continue to change to a more laid back, easy going hostess. Because it is truly about people and quality time spent with them and less and less about what my house looks like or what meals I make. Because, as my husband always reminds me, "people come to see us, not our house." He does make a really good point from time to time.