God's great plan...part 3.

After our church's congregational meeting on January 24, Brad stepped up his search for a new position. We knew there was a strong possibility of a youth pastor being hired by the summer, so we felt the clock was ticking. Yet we both felt strongly that Brad should try to remain at Lakewood to help transition the new guy. We felt anxious and "in a hurry" yet also not rushed because we had no real end date for Brad's employment. Some days I was overwhelmed with all that needed to be done, and others I was at peace.

From my Sabbath journal, February 25, 2011:

"So many things need to be done! Stuff around the house...taxes...organizing...downsizing..."

"But, all will get done...You have given us all the time we need. Help me to be wise in my use of it. You are the Sovereign Ruler of the past, present, and future. Did Brad do ANYTHING to get his job at Lakewood? No!"

Later that same morning from Jesus Calling:

"I am leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy, even precarious. This is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine."

Isn't God amazing to give me exactly what I needed for each day! Even as I write this, I am amazed at His goodness!

By the end of March, our search committee had been led to a particular candidate, and it was becoming more certain of his calling to Lakewood. Brad also had been sending out several resumes to churches and was filling out a long questionnaire for one in particular. We both felt the need to find a job so we could transition out while a new youth pastor was transitioning in. I could tell that I was becoming weary from all of Brad's church responsibilities, his endless job searching, and my responsibilities in and outside our home.

Then, a month later, while we were quickly trying to de-clutter our home and finish up projects so that we could put it on the market, some of the churches that were either pursuing us (or we were pursuing) all led to dead ends. There were not a lot of leads for new ministry jobs. We became unsure about whether to put our house on the market since there were no job prospects. We were also going to vote on a new youth pastor on May 9, and we had no idea what lay ahead.

A few days before the congregational meeting and vote for the new youth pastor, Brad and I met with our senior pastor and a church elder. Over lunch we discussed a short-term job possibility for Brad at Lakewood. Ever since Brad began meeting weekly with our senior pastor last fall and also since filling out the EFCA's ministry match, we were beginning to discuss whether another type of position...such as associate pastor... may be a better fit for Brad. Since his main areas of strength were preaching, teaching, and discipling, maybe this was God's way of leading us to a completely different area of ministry. So our church's elders recommended that Brad be offered a full time (with same pay and benefits) adult ministries internship under our senior pastor from August 1 - December 31, 2011.

We were overwhelmed and very grateful for this possibility! Brad was very excited about working more closely with our senior pastor as well as preaching more, teaching our 222 leadership class, and getting his feet wet with other adult ministries responsibilities. We both believe this would be an excellent chance for Brad to see another area of ministry as well as give us a bit more time to either find another job or explore other avenues...like seminary.

And over the course of the last few months, Brad and our senior pastor also discussed the possibility of Brad and I traveling to a retreat center in Tennessee to process and debrief the last year with a counselor as well as rest, pray, and seek God's direction for our future. God's timing was perfect, yet again! Just last week we traveled to Fairhaven Ministries on Roan Mountain in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. We were able to spend 5 wonderful days there, and it was a huge blessing to us. We gained some perspective over the last 2 years, were able to discuss fears and feelings of rejection and doubt, as well as learn practical tools that we will need to rely on over the next 7 months as Brad's transitioning from one position to another at Lakewood as well as the next place of ministry God leads us.

And in that beautiful place, God was able to show me, very clearly, His hand in all of this.

We flew out just 5 days after our last youth group...our annual lip sync...where at intermission, Brad was honored and affirmed. Just a week before that, our senior pastor shared with our students about the new youth pastor as well as Brad's transition out of LSM later this summer. That same week was also Brad's last message to our students.

Those last two Wednesday nights were incredibly difficult for me. Even now, I'm not sure how to continue with this. We had been with these students for 7 years, and thinking about not being a part of their lives brings me to tears. Personally, all I've ever been is a youth pastor's wife, and it felt like I was losing a part of myself...like when I decided to leave teaching for a season to be at home with my children. It was an extremely difficult time.

But while I was up on that mountain...listening to the Roaring Creek outside our chalet window...God put it together for me. Just minutes before Brad shared for the final time with our students, he told me how he felt God had put him at Lakewood for this exact season. He was ordained by God with a specific purpose. His personality was very flexible...which enabled him to work with two very different youth pastors. He wasn't intimidated by being the #2 guy. He enjoyed working with another youth pastor, yet didn't desire to take over. He had provided stability and had served two interim positions.

He was placed at Lakewood for this specific purpose. And now it was time to let go.

No matter how hard I have fought this "letting go" over the past 9 months, God truly spoke through Brad and I was fully able to embrace it last week.

So, where does that leave us? Brad will continue to oversee LSM through July 31 and then pass the baton on to another youth pastor. August 1 he will slide over into a temporary adult ministries position until December 31. But all the while we will continue to pursue other ministry job possibilities as well as other avenues as the Lord directs.

If we truly say in our hearts (and I believe we do) that we want to serve the Lord wherever He calls us, then our feet have to match our hearts. So we will continue to take it one day at a time, enjoying every moment with our dear friends, going to play dates, de-cluttering our home and finishing small work projects, ministering to those around us, and anxiously awaiting our "marching orders."

My new theme is "Resting in the waiting room."

So, we wait, knowing that the longing we have to be settled in the next season of our life will not be fulfilled in this world...

but in the next.

And that's okay.