To seek and save the lost...

It has been a long day...and a long week. And as I sit here tonight, at this late hour, I realize it has been a long last few months.

I had another post started which I had hoped to finish tonight...

But my heart is just too heavy.

I'm grieving inside for hurting friends. For people in my life that are in great pain.

For some, the pain has been caused by their own hands. For others, the pain has been caused by someone else...someone dear to them.

I'm also grieving over missed opportunities...personal blindness that is caused by pride...lack of reconciliation and humble attitudes among people I love and respect...and unteachable spirits.

But it's not just my friends that I am spent for.

I am also grieving over a hurtful conversation I had with a friend earlier today.

And as I read the story of Christ's betrayal, sentencing, and death to my children tonight, I feel like I am under a cloud of darkness like many of the disciples and other Christ-followers were that day.

Christ was dead. Their priest was gone. Their hearts were broken. They didn't know (fully) how the story was going to end.

And I don't know how my story...my family's story...my hurting friends' stories...or even the story of my relationship with this friend...will end.

So, I sit here in the dark, as my husband and children sleep, and try to align my head and my heart...

Try to align God's infallible truth AND my current, very hormonal and out of whack, almost 9 months pregnant, emotions.

My emotions are saying...

Why are people acting this way? Why are people not going straight to the one they feel has wronged them? Why do they feel free to discuss their issues and hurt feelings with others? Why are people so afraid? Is the fear of man really more powerful than the fear of God? Why are people so afraid to be criticized? Shouldn't we all want to learn and grow from our mistakes or ways that we have hurt one another? Where is grace? Where is mercy? Where is humility?

But my mind tells me...

What are the logs in my eye? Am I any different? Do I speak God's truth into other's lives, or are my challenges simply that...my challenges. Am I humble? Am I gracious? Am I full of mercy? Didn't Christ come to save ALL of us. Didn't He die to cover ALL our sins?

It is easy to criticize...anyone can do that. It's much harder to be humble and be accountable for hurtful actions and words.

And we...I especially...are/am guilty of having critical hearts.

So, what am I going to do with my emotions? (Which, by the way, are NOT always reality.)

I'm going to filter them through God's standard...His TRUTH...

And the TRUTH says...



"The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" - II Corinthians 12:9

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another, forgiving as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13

"Endure hardships as discipline; God is treating you as sons." - Hebrews 12:7a

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." - Hebrews 12:11

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." - James 1:19-20

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." - I John 3:18

"May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." - John 17:23



This is what God desires from us...all of us who call ourselves Christians. We are the body of Christ, and He wants us to start acting like it. We all have areas of captivity...sin that we cannot break free from on our own. We need God. We need His convicting Spirit. We need one another. We need other members of the body of Christ another to speak God's truth into our lives. And we need to do that (give and receive) graciously and humbly.

I don't know what tomorrow will hold for me, my family, or my dear friends. But I am trusting in the One who does know what tomorrow holds.

For I could go to sleep tonight, paralyzed in grief and fear...much like those disciples were...with the doors locked for fear of the Jews...or I can rest in His Word...

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my HOPE comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge." - Psalm 62:5-7

...AND in the finished work of Christ...because I know something the disciples did NOT know on that dark day over 2,000 years ago...

"The angel said to the women, 'Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; He has risen, just as He said.'" - Matthew 28:5-6