Oh where, or where has Jenny been....

It's been about two weeks (actually exactly two weeks tomorrow) since I last blogged.

Life has been full and busy and busy and full... There is so much to share! A wonderful wedding of two former youth group students (of which Sammy was the BEAUTIFUL flower girl), a refreshing scrapbooking retreat for me and 9 other girlfriends, long nights painting the "newly married couple's" apartment, a youth group drive-in movie night, a crazy trip to Como Zoo (in the rain!), lots and lots of playdates, fresh summer produce from an organic farm share I'm in, and even a few naps.

Seriously, I'm not even sure where to begin.

While I have been going crazy not blogging, I think it's been good that I've had a break because God has been teaching me a lot of lessons about my priorities the last few weeks. The first being that I still struggle with being a "people pleaser."

"Hi, my name is Jenny, and I'm a people pleaser."

"Hi Jenny."

At times I think I've gotten a handle at "my condition," but then it rears its ugly head, and I'm struggling again.

Like during the last two weeks.

So not only has God, through my devotions and Sabbath Rest time, been challenging me and convicting me of "my condition," He's also spoken truth to me through good friends and my husband.

Don't you hate it when God speaks through your spouse!

About a week ago, as I was leaving for a weekly Bible study, Brad told me that the "craziness" (translated...my INSANE schedule) needed to stop because he was "getting the leftovers."

Ouch!

There is nothing worse than your husband telling you, bluntly...because that's the only way my husband usually talks...that you are giving more to others than to your husband and your children.

But that's exactly what I was doing.

I kept making excuses for why things weren't getting done around the house or why I didn't have any time for stuff Brad wanted to do...like (fill in the blank) "things will be better after this weekend" and or "once my 5K is done" or "Danny and Tika's wedding is over" or "once I get everything ready for the scrapbook retreat" or "after everything gets painted" and on and on and on...

My priorities were out of whack. I was putting other people above myself, my husband, and my kids. And it was taking its toll.

After Brad told me he was tired of "getting the leftovers," later that same night at Bible study, my two girlfriends told me they wanted to help and support me and do whatever they could (watch the kids so I could get things done around my house or go on a date with my husband or come over and help clean) but they would NOT help watch the kids or the like if I was "doing something for someone else." One of them had just watched my kids the previous day so I could paint someone else's apartment, and while she was willing to do that, she wanted my focus to be on what's most important...

my husband...
my children...
my home...
my responsibilities as a wife, mother, and homemaker...

NOT on

doing something special for someone else...if it meant I was not making proper meals for my family...

or

putting on "just one more video" for my kids so I can prepare food for my scrapbooking retreat...when I should be outside enjoying the last warm days of summer with my kids...

or

working like a crazy woman to "please other people" and ignoring my body and not sleeping or eating like I should...when I need to first take care of me so that I can care for others.

I was so convicted, and that's hard to take sometimes. But I was so thankful that I had people who could speak into my life and tell me things were out of whack.

So, I've been slowly getting things back under control. Brad and I have talked and prayed over our fall schedule, and both have peace about it. I have said "NO" to some things...very good things...but things that would overwhelm me right now. (Good job Jenny!) We have a weekly date night in place. My house is finally clean...seriously, my bathrooms were NASTY! I've been playing a lot with my kids. And I have been doing the best that I can at still ministering and loving on others...but not at the cost of my family.

People will just have to understand.

I still have a ton to do (and a LOT of great things to blog about), but I know I'll get to them when I can. Because...

summer will soon be gone...
my kids will soon grow up...
and I will have to stand before my Savior one day and give an account...

and while all that I was doing were "very good things," I don't want those "very good things" to be done at the cost of what Christ has first called me to...

to be His daughter, and to daily sit as His feet...
to be a wife, and to continually pour into my marriage...
to be a mother, and to train, love, direct, and teach my children...

the rest will wait, and I'm finally okay with that.