Do I live in a glass house?

Over the last couple of weeks or so, a few different friends/acquaintances have made the same general statement to me. It's been kinda weird.

And I haven't been able to get it out of my mind.

In more or less words, they have all said:

"Nothing every goes wrong for you, does it Jenny?"

My first response usually has been..."things do go wrong at times and life is hard some days, but I try to focus on the good instead of the bad."

One time after saying that, a friend...well, more of an acquaintance, said..."that's because she only tells us the good stuff!"

The last few days I've been thinking about all those conversations and trying to figure out why I am still dwelling on them...and wrestling with what people are perceiving about me.

As I've been thinking and praying and pealing back more and more layers of the core issue, I am struck by these thoughts.

First, right now, on Wednesday, October 28, 2009, I do feel abundantly blessed. I feel that God has blessed us with a GREAT church, great friends and family, wonderful and healthy children, a warm home, a healthy 3rd pregnancy, money to pay our bills, and an exciting upcoming trip...just Brad and me. I do feel like, at this moment, life is as it should be.

But I do remember times, very recent times, where life was NOT picture perfect. I remember times of feeling depressed and overwhelmed with my life as a grad student, wife, and mother of 2 small children. I remember times of uncertainty with Brad's job and his current pay freeze. I remember times...just a few short years ago...when I cried out to God for a baby, a house to call our own, and a church to serve. I remember a time when I thought Brad would never be in full time ministry again...

No, life is not perfect for us.

I think there are seasons of life that are filled with blessings after blessings. Some blessings I believe are a direct result of obedience. Other blessings come because we have a gracious God who gives us things even when we don't deserve it.

There are other seasons that are especially hard...ones filled with great pain and tribulation. Seasons that seem to go on and on with no end or hope in sight. I also remember such a season. One that took me a long time and a lot of healing to move on from.

In the midst of these thoughts, I've been overwhelmed by what God has to say about this. Because, really, His opinion is the only one that matters.

What I know for sure, as I put my emotions and personal feelings aside, is that...

God chooses to do what He wants with my life.

He gives and He takes away.

My circumstances, for the most part...though some ARE direct results of poor choices/sins or times of obedience...are NOT about me or what I want.

Everything, and I mean everything, happens for the sole purpose of bringing glory to God and making me more into Christ's likeness.

Nothing, absolutely nothing is my own. That goes for my house, my children, my marriage, my talents, my thoughts, my checking account, even my faith is not my own. Everything is from God.

Even the bad times...the hard times...the times I am desperate for relief.

But if I have a proper view of God and His character and understand that He doesn't allow anything to touch me or my family without being first filtered through His loving hands, I am able to more readily accept it.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose."

I can either trust Him...

or not.

So, even though it is easier to trust Him in this season of blessing, I pray, oh how I pray, that when the trials come, my view of God will not change.

It's not my job to understand or to give Him advice. It's my job to obey, continue to be faithful, and hold on tightly to His hand.

So, I will continue to focus on the positive, praise God for His many undeserved blessings, and keep relying on God's never-changing character...even when this season comes to an end.