Food, fun, and lots of fellowship

During Memorial Day weekend, Brad threw me a graduation party.

Ummm, I should clarify that a bit.

I told Brad that it would be fun to have some friends over to celebrate ME finishing graduate school. Then I gave him some possible dates and a guest list. He then sent out evites, and let me know who was coming.

Then I made a meal and grocery list. And I cleaned the whole house. And I prepped all the food and cooked it. Wait, Brad did grill the brats, burgers, and hot dogs...and he did clean our patio furniture and get the backyard set up. (I should give him some credit.)

It was such a fun evening! Because it was Memorial Day weekend, some of our friends were unable to come, but we had such a great time with

Adam and Christina

Melissa and Jeremy

and Megan.

We sat around on our deck, ate some great food, and chatted and laughed while all the kids played.

See!

It was such a nice evening! The night ended with a campfire, some yummy smores, and visits from two of our neighbors. And I even remembered to take at least one picture of me...since it was my graduation party!


I am overwhelmed again and again by God's goodness. His blessings are endless. Not only has He given us His salvation and His Word, He has taken care of all our needs. He provided the money for me to complete graduate school debt free. He gave not only me, but my husband and kids the extra time, energy, and strength to finish strong. He has brought some wonderful people into our lives that we truly cherish. He gave us the money and extra help (thanks Dad!) to build a deck so that we can entertain more people. Just in the last month, a friend gave us a great swing-set, which not only my children, but my friend's children can enjoy. We also have an insane amount of outdoor toys because my brother so generously gives us hand-me-downs from my nieces and nephew.

God is so good!

"(I) will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness."
--Psalm 145:7

"How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you."
--Psalm 31:19

Blogging about blogging

For the last day or so, I've really been pondering and wrestling with "the blogger world" and all that it encompasses...the blog frog, blogging networks and discussion groups, media advertisements, posts and comments, and the simple fact that 21 million women a week read blogs and 15 million more write their own blog.

And I'm one of them.

Two and a half years ago, I began this little blog because (1) my friend Gianna had one and I really LOVED reading it, especially since we didn't live in the same city anymore and (2) I really wanted a place to express myself, vent frustrations, process my thoughts about parenting, marriage, what God was doing in my own life, and keep a journal of the happenings of my family's life.

And I was very content with that. I knew there were a handful of people who read my blog, but blogging for the sake of blogging was my intent and goal.

Then, about three months ago, that all began to change. I had about five blogs that I followed, but then I began looking at other people's blogs that were linked to my friend's blogs. The first one being MckMama. I went to college with MckMama, and was drawn into her son's battle with SVT. I prayed daily for her while he was in the hospital, and was captivated by her beautiful photography, wonderfully spirited writing and her overall charm.

And so I added MckMama to my list of "blogs I follow" and continued on in my now slightly larger blogger world.

This brings me to about five days ago. This entire week, I have been completely sucked into the blogger world. I've joined MckMama's discussion group, spent countless hours reading COMPLETE STRANGER'S blogs, and have been fixated with reading other people's comments to, again, COMPLETE STRANGER'S blogs.

Seriously, I've been living in a virtual world.

So yesterday and today I have been pondering over (1) why I have been sucked in, (2) is all of this really legit, (3) are true relationships being built and is that the goal, and (4) are we all really just wanting, desiring, praying that someone, somewhere will read our blog and want to know us?

I have personally struggled with these questions.

Does it really, deep down inside, matter to me if I have 0 followers or 100 followers? Am I writing for the sake of writing or am I writing to give my audience something to read about? Even though I feel a sense of community with these women and LOVE the fact that I am NOT the only stay at home mother with struggles, issues, joys, sorrows, victories, and CRAZY days, can we truly know one another in the way God has called us to know and serve and love one another? Are we all publishing a version of our own "reality show"? How would I feel (and what would it do to my self-esteem) if I stopped blogging or if others stopped reading my blogs?

I love that blogs allow us to be vulnerable (like in Not Me, Monday) and be real and authentic with our daily struggles and lives, but just because I write about letting Caleb play with my only set of car keys while at a park with LOTS of sand just so that he'll be happy and content so I can chat with my girlfriends...which I let him do today and which WILL be discussed next Monday...doesn't necessarily mean my "followers" will keep me accountable, pray daily for me, and, at times, speak truth into my life.

My greatest fear is that instead of us helping one another realize we are all human and taking comfort in the fact that we all have struggles and sin, that we will begin to compare ourselves to one another. Case in point--I used to think I was "semi-healthy" until reading about MckMama's choice of foods and how I wished I could take pictures of my kids like countless other moms...who, by the way, are PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS) instead of focusing on how God has uniquely designed each one of us and rejoicing in that.

Yup, BIG struggle for me this week...

And I know for me, and many others, the source of life and hope and peace comes first from Jesus Christ, second from our husbands and family, third from our "real" friends and church community, and coming in at last on the list...our blogging community.

But, I know for me, it's easy to get sucked in.

And I DO NOT want this little hobby to take over my life or take the place of my Savior or my family or my obligations and responsibilities. And I DO NOT want another person's blog or life to cause me to feel shame or guilt as a mother.

I DO want my blog and others to make me smile, remind me that I am NOT alone, and give me great comfort and joy that the body of Christ encompasses every community, every city, and every country.

Make God receive ALL the praise!

Wordful Wednesday: A boy, a beauty and lots of bubbles.

Welcome to "Wordful Wednesday" created by Angie at Seven Clown Circus.


About a year ago, I used to DREAD bath time. Sammy, then, was about 2 1/2 and wanted ALL the bath toys for herself. And Caleb was about 1, and would not stay still to save his life! I would hear other moms talk about how much they enjoyed throwing the kids in the tub and letting them play. For me, it was a nightmare, and I usually INSISTED that Brad help me. (Neither one of us was really brave enough to do it on our own!) At the end of each bath, the bathroom was a mess, I had two unhappy children, and I usually was just as wet as them. But I have come to LOVE bath time.



See!


Caleb was blowing me bubble kisses!


I couldn't click the camera fast enough to get his bubble beard.


Now bubbles are my friend, and bath time is a blast for everyone.

Not me, Monday

It is time once again for my weekly confession, I mean, Not Me, Monday created by Mckmama.


While at a play date, I did NOT let Sammy play for an hour in a disgusting, gross, and who knows what disease it had in it...perhaps even the swine flu, bird bath so that I could sit down and talk with two girlfriends.

I did NOT put off my errands so that I had to go to Super Walmart at 5:00, the absolute WORST time to go!

I did NOT cry when I saw that Sammy cut her hair, and then proceed to tell EVERYONE that she was at home with her Father when it happened...as to not look like the incompetent parent.

Even though it was my husband's idea, I did NOT clean, cook, prepare, and get everything ready for MY graduation party. Oh wait, I think he did the grilling, but I did everything else!

And I certainly did NOT take a 3 1/2 hour nap (my first one in a few years) even though I had all of the cooking, cleaning, and preparing to do less than a day before my grad party...remember the one that I had to do everything for!

I especially did NOT have a very relaxing weekend with great friends and good food and spend some wonderful, quality time with my family.

Nope, NOT me!

Attitude adjustment

Over the last few weeks, I've really been convicted about my attitude. And, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. Grad school was over (and with it MUCH stress), many activities (MOPS, BSF, Youth Group, Sunday School) were done for the year, and it was summer in Minnesota!

Life really can't get any better, right?

But all I seemed to be thinking about was the four weeks Brad is going to be gone this summer on youth missions trips, summer camps, and miscellaneous other trips. I also couldn't stop thinking about all that had to be done around the house...deck and swing set stained, landscaping weeded, and countless organizing projects. Then there were many decisions that Brad and I hadn't yet made, but needed to, which were consuming a great deal of my thoughts and time. I was also struggling with what my role is now. I mean, for two years I was a "teacher" again. I was challenged and grown in remarkable ways. I was meeting with other teachers, wearing clothes OTHER than jeans and t-shirts, AND wearing make-up.

Who was I and what was I supposed to do now?

And then it hit me...one night a couple of weeks ago at Starbucks.

Since April, I have been meeting almost every Thursday night at Starbucks at 8:00 with two other friends to work through a Beth Moore study. Both my friends are fellow mothers and are women that I have REALLY, REALLY wanted to get to know.

Have you ever really wanted to be friends with the cool girls? Me too! Christina and Steph are very cool in my eyes, and I've really been drawn to them. They are amazingly strong women, and I respect them so much! Over the last couple of years, I've really wanted to get to know them better, and I feel very blessed that I was asked to be a part of this weekly study.

And I have learned SO MUCH from these women and this study! I feel we have been very authentic and vulnerable with one another, and I cannot tell how wonderful our time together is. It is truly a time that I yearn for every week.

A couple of weeks ago, I realized the root of my attitude problem. I had an ungrateful heart and a complaining spirit! It was like the scales had come off, and I could see my heart for what it truly was.

And it was because of one of these ladies.

I realized how desperately one of them yearned for some of the things I was taking for granted. She has to work part-time and is unable to be a part of a mother's group like MOPS or Bible Study Fellowship. Someone else has to be with her son while she works. She had a lot of student loans that were weighing her down.

I had NONE of these problems.

How dare I complain?

Regardless of where each of us are, there will always be someone better off or someone less fortunate. The key is to be content where God has us, and to be grateful for what He has given us.

I did not have a grateful heart. And it was causing me to have a grumbling and complaining attitude. I needed to make a change.

So the next day during my Sabbath time, I made a list of ALL that I have taken for granted. The list was crazy long! I was so blessed to have other mothers to hang out with and learn from at MOPS. I was able to be on a structured and incredibly in-depth Bible study like BSF. I had a WONDERFUL husband who supported me and helped carry the family/house load for 2 years. I was able to stay at home EVERY day with my kids instead of going to work. I had a great church family, and I was surrounded by wonderful, Christian people who loved me and loved my kids. And the list goes on and on...

What a change! Not only was I filled with gratitude for what I had, any current issues I had with contentment (about my house or size of my family or the clothes in my closet) faded away as well. I don't think anyone can NOT be changed when they stop to focus on what they DO have instead of what they DON'T.

God is the giver of ALL good things, and to be ungrateful really means I have a problem with how God is directing my life and providing for my needs. To complain against temporary life situations is to complain directly against God.

Ouch!

Above all, I really want to make these verses my daily prayer.

"Two things I ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before I die:

Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD ?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

--Proverbs 30:7-9

First ever "Wordful Wednesday"

Welcome to "Wordful Wednesday" created by Angie at Seven Clown Circus.

Last weekend we went to our annual youthworkers retreat at Camp Shamineau in northern Minnesota. It's a great time to get together with our good friends and other youth pastors, wives, and their families from all over the state. We worship together, learn together, and stay up WAY TOO LATE talking about ministry, catching up on each other's lives, and encouraging one another. We treasure this time because we only get to see many of them once a year.

This year I've also realized what a treat this is for our kids. They get to hang out with other "PK's" (pastor kids) who understand exactly what their life is like. They have they own sessions, and LOVE being at camp. The following are some GREAT pictures from the weekend! Enjoy!


Sammy (far right) loved going down the slide with her friends Brooke, Abby, Macy, and Ali.


She also was quite obsessed with the horses. (Her favorite horses were Zach and Billy.) I could not tear her away from the horse barn, and she rode horses the ENTIRE time it was open. (And no, even though she's asked, Sammy WILL NOT be getting a pony for her birthday!)


One of my favorite things about going to camp is having "campfire donuts." Caleb especially loves them!

My first "official" Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have NOT been doing this week.

Confession is so good for the soul!

I totally did NOT exaggerate on my post about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning. There were three dogs, but only one officially ran after me. I surely would not have made that up...to what? ...make myself sound more brave? Nope, that wasn't me!

I did NOT put my children in the van almost 10 full minutes before I actually left for errands because I couldn't handle one more minute of their crying and whining. And I certainly did NOT quietly put the laundry in the washer and dryer and finish washing the dishes in peace and thought about what a good idea it was! (And before anyone calls social services, they were safely buckled into their car seats with the van widows and garage door open with books to read...)

I did NOT ignore the fact that Sammy was trying repeatedly to climb onto the stage during our annual youth group lip sync and hoping that someone else would watch her while I continuously chased after Caleb.

I did NOT secretly LOVE the fact that some family sent me money in my graduation cards, even though I said to not send money or gifts.

I did NOT scream with joy when I heard my friend Dacia had a baby boy. I mean I really did NOT care if she had a boy or girl.

I certainly did NOT allow my children to stay up until almost 11:00 at our youth workers retreat last weekend. I did not cave and let them stay up because I didn't want them crying and waking up all the other good, sleeping children.

I did NOT have a can of pop (first in over 6 weeks) and MOUNTAINS of junk food at the youth workers retreat and then proceed to make a double batch of cookie dough when I returned home.

And the next day I did NOT eat 5 large tablespoons of cookie dough (and ONLY that) for supper.

Nope, NOT me!

Celebrate good times, come on!

I'm done.

No, really, I'm actually done.

Even after turning in my insanely long action research paper AND presenting my findings last month AND wearing my cap, gown, and hood, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this new stage of my life.

No more papers, no more classes, no more 300 page books to read, no more study nights and weekends away from my family, no more telling Sammy to read quietly to herself while I finish studying, no more...

Well, actually I have had a couple of dreams that I hadn't finished all my work and that I actually didn't graduate...I would like no more of those please!

Last weekend, I had my hooding ceremony and graduation from my master's program in Marshall, MN.

(Side note...I am now a graduate from Southwest Minnesota State University...a college I have only set foot on three times over the last two years...anyone else think that's crazy!)

Brad and I and the kiddos drove down (about 3 1/2 hours) on Friday and spent the night. We connected with another family from my co-hort and went swimming together. Then we gave the kids a bath, watched some cartoons, and put them to bed. It was a really relaxing evening, and the kiddos slept pretty well...considering we had to wake them up at 6:45 so we could get to breakfast by 7:30.

Take a look at Caleb's face...he wasn't exactly excited about taking pictures at that early hour...but he was a good sport!


After having breakfast, chatting with some classmates, and taking pictures with one of my professors,


the hooding ceremony began. We learned all about the funky design of our gowns and what the tassel and hood colors meant. Anyone curious? Even if you aren't, too bad!

High school graduation gown colors are chosen by the school or the graduating class. All undergraduate college gowns are black with traditional sleeves that are angled. Graduate school gowns are always black and have slightly shorter sleeves that are not angled. They also have an "extra" sleeve that hangs behind the regular sleeve. (I actually put my arm in the wrong sleeve and was quite concerned with how long it was and that it was sewn shut! How was I suppose to shake someone's hand and receive my diploma if the sleeve was sewn! Then I discovered the "correct" sleeve...and I'm actually supposed to be smarter now!) You can sorta see the long, dangling extra sleeve in the picture below.


Your graduate school tassel and the "outer" colors of the hood are dependent on your specific area. Education is represented by light blue. (My tassel looks white, but it really is light blue, really.) The "inner" colors are the colors from the institution. Southwest's colors are brown and yellow. They aren't my favorite colors, but they will do! Oh, and when I get my doctorate degree *just kidding*, then I (would) get this funky cap and big, puffy sleeves with stripes.


And for those of you who really wanted to see pictures of me being "hooded", sorry to disappoint! It was hard for Brad to watch the kids AND take pictures so I handed my camera to a friend...who didn't have our camera turned on...BUMMER!!!

It was a really fun time, and even though other family and friends couldn't make it and the drive was pretty long, it was well worth it. We had a great time as a family, the kids were REALLY good (well, I sorta bribed them with ice cream and a stop at a park on the way home if they cooperated...a mother's gotta do what a mother's gotta do!) and it was a wonderful way to celebrate and bring closure to this season of my life.

So, what's next? Well, Brad's throwing me a little party this weekend, and I'm looking forward to celebrating and grilling out with family and good friends. The rest of my other obligations...Mothers of Pre-Schoolers (MOPS), Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), youth group, Sunday morning class, and small group Bible study have all ended or will be ending this week. I really don't know what to think or do. I've been so busy and stressed that I'm not quite sure what to do with my "open" schedule. But, my husband does...

Yesterday, I made a list of ALL the things I would LIKE to do this summer. I ran over the list with Brad, and have I mentioned before how GOOD he is! He listened carefully and quietly and then LOVINGLY asked me if and how I was going to do all of that. He is so good at keeping me in balance and not letting me overcommit.

Then he said, "how about resting for awhile?"

Oh, you mean NOT booking up my schedule like a crazy lady and running me and our family ragged? You mean choosing a very few ministries, activities and pursuits and focusing on those instead of 10 or 15?

Oh, yeah, that's probably a good idea.

Confession from an emotional eater

Hello, my name is Jenny, and I'm an emotional eater.

All together now..."Hi Jenny."

The last two years, my life has been full of reading, writing papers, researching, more reading, and hours of editing because of my graduate school work. I knew I was (and my ENTIRE family was) under stress ALL THE TIME, but I tried not to believe it. Stress can do crazy things to do. It makes you frustrated, angry, resentful, bitter...just to name a few. It can cause you to become someone you don't want to be.

Sammy was not quite 2 years old, and Caleb was barely 2 months old when I began grad school. Yup, just like you, I shake my head and say, "What (were you) was I thinking!!!" I did have some very good reasons for going back to school when I did (and I will talk about that further when I post my graduation pictures from last weekend), but it's only been the last few months that I've wrestled with a "side effect" from going to school AND being the mother of 2 small children AND being a youth pastor's wife AND being over committed...etc.

And that side effect is emotional eating.

Let me take you back a bit...

I was the same size, 5 foot 3, 130 pounds through high school and college. Then...I got married, and it was all down hill from there. I gained almost 30 pounds my first year of marriage--almost 10 years ago--. And even though I lost some of it, I never fully lost that weight. Then, 4 years ago, I had Sammy and gained 30 MORE pounds. I lost most of that within a year, but then became pregnant with Caleb around Sammy's 1st birthday and proceeded to put on 40 MORE pounds. The day I gave birth to Caleb, I was within 10 pounds of the 200 mark! EEK!

Then, I started grad school. You can just imagine how well my weight loss has been the last 2 years...I have only lost 20 pounds...and 8 of them were Caleb!

But, on April 1st, even though I was still finishing my HUGE research paper, I decided enough was enough! I was taking control over my emotional eating!

So I began to do calorie counting. It was very intimidating at first, but I found some really great websites to help me get started with how many calories I should be eating to lose 1-2 pounds a week and help me figure out how many calories I burned and also how many calories were in common foods.

In the last 6 weeks, I have lost 12 pounds! Yeah!

I feel great, have dropped one jean size, and am motivated to keep going.

And even though a lot of people haven't noticed, I'VE noticed and my HUSBAND has noticed.

In the midst of this 6 week journey, I have come to realize that this is yet another area that I am unable to do by MYSELF. What I mean is that I've had to really pray and ask God to help me NOT grab the chips, but grab the carrots instead. I've realized how WEAK I am, and that there's really nothing I do in my own power. This is not about me gaining control (even though I really, really like having control), but it's about me handing over the control to the One who wants me to give EVERYTHING, including my eating to HIM.

So, even though these BEFORE



and AFTER


pictures may not show my 12 pound loss, I do hope they show how I'm learning that it's less and less about me, and more and more about becoming like Him.

Jenny and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

What a horrible morning.

I'm not sure when it exactly my horrible morning began...maybe it was during my run at 6:30. Three different dogs ran after me and barked ferociously, and I had to stop running every time to yell at them to go home. Seriously, where are these dogs' owners!!!

It could have begun at 6:45, when BOTH my children woke up. This couldn't have been MY children. My children sleep until at least 7:45 if not 8:00.

Maybe it was when Brad and I couldn't figure out where $25 had gone in our budget...and I began to snap at him because it MUST have been HIS mistake... (Two minutes later we discovered MY mis-entry.

Then again, it could have been when I looked around at my incredibly messy house. We had been gone this weekend, and I hadn't been feeling well since Saturday afternoon and hadn't cleaned up ANYTHING...dishes, toys, laundry... I could barely walk through my living room and could NOT see the top of my dining room table. (oh, and let's not forget my DISGUSTING bathrooms...there is hair everywhere, and my toilets haven't been cleaned for at least 3 weeks.)

But wait, let's not forget that as I began to clean up after the kids had breakfast, they ended up tearing apart both of their rooms....literally. I should have know that the lack of noise meant trouble! The kids were playing "sleepover" in Caleb's room, and Caleb had somehow gotten into the top drawer of his dresser and had spread Vaseline onto my white bedspread.

It could have been then.

Or maybe it was around 10:00, when I couldn't handle my cranky kids any longer (remember, they woke up really early) and put them in the car for a few minutes (while I did some laundry) and then drove to a park. And after being there for, let me think, about THREE MINUTES, it started to rain and I threw 2-beyond cranky-children back in the car and drove home.

Yup, that could have been it.

Oh, but it also could have been when Sammy SLAMMED the door on Caleb's hand right before lunch. It's swollen, still has the mark, clear as day, and he's been favoring it.

I don't know when it began, exactly, but I know that I want it to be over. I can't remember having this frustrating of a day in a LONG time. And the worst thing isn't my children's behaviour or their whining. It's my lack of control over my emotions. It's been my screaming at them. It's been when Sammy asks in her sweet chimp muck voice, "Mommy, can you please stop yelling at me and Caleb?"

I hate that. Really hate that. That's what is most horrible.

So, I finally gathered myself (and my children) and called my husband. He prayed for me, reassured me, and comforted me. Then I prayed to God, asking forgiveness and asking for help in overcoming my anger and frustration that has been controlling me today. I asked for forgiveness from my children, and within a minute or two, we were laughing, tickling, and hugging one another.

They are so forgiving...

Now the trick is to forgive myself, which I think is the hardest part, and to let go of my messy house...oh, and Caleb just dumped out ALL of the blocks, UGH! ...to breath and take one moment at a time, and remember that I (hopefully) won't scar my children by my actions today.

God's grace is sufficient, and HIS love and forgiveness covers ALL my sin...yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Change

Why is change so hard? Why do we kick and scream when it happens? Why are we so resistant? Don't we know that make HUNDREDS of choices every day and with each of those, change occurs...either in very small and gradual ways or in a DRAMATIC way?

Regardless of how it happens, change is something we can't avoid. And no matter how old we become, I'm not sure if it gets any easier.

A few weeks ago, the leadership in my church announced that this would be the last year that Lakewood would be a charter for our MOPS group. Instead of MOPS, our church was going to transition into a more Titus 2 ministry. (A more authentic and purposeful ministry in which the older women teach, train and mentor the younger women.) It was an abrupt announcement, and it was met with A LOT of negative reactions. Many, many moms were VERY upset. I was one of them...until I met with the leadership later that day. And after hearing their hearts and how God had led them to this decision and as I saw how things had so beautifully come together, I embraced it with open arms.

But over the last week or two, more and more hurt feelings, resistance, and grumblings were going on. I pleaded with my friends to go and talk to our church's leadership, but many, to me, just wanted to complain. They wanted MOPS to continue. End of story.

I, TOO, want another church in our community to take over our MOPS charter and continue it this fall. MOPS is a GREAT ministry, and it has been something that has given me life and helped me survive these pre-school years. But as wonderful as MOPS is, there are times that I've felt it has been very shallow and surfacy. I have desired for it to go deeper. And I feel this Titus 2 ministry will do just that.

I think that everyone wants to find people to be real and authentic with. Many of us like staying where it's comfortable...smiling at one another...chatting about what diapers we use...sharing potty training techniques... But doesn't everyone, deep down inside, want something more?

I know I do.

I want to learn from other women who have already been in my shoes. I want to learn how to be a better mother and wife. I want someone committed to praying for me. I want to have my life be an open book for others to speak truth into or for others to learn from.

Most of all, when change comes, I want to embrace it. I don't want to run from it. It's still hard sometimes, but I know that God is sovereign and that I can trust Him with every change.

Florida or BUST!

In March we took a family vacation to Florida. We had wanted to go to Florida for some time now (since we had a niece we hadn’t met and FREE lodging while we were there), but we just never seemed to get around to doing it.


But this year we started to plan early, and actually did it! We left on March 10th (from a friend’s house in the Cities) and drove for 30 hours (through the night) to Orlando in our little Honda with 2 small children. Yup, we left the minivan (and all that extra room) at home and crammed everything into our little go-cart, I mean Civic. I wasn’t too keen on this idea either, especially since we BOUGHT our Odyssey because we wanted more space, but our Civic gets between 36-38 miles to the gallon and it saved us a TON. (We actually only spent about $200 in gas the ENTIRE 3,500 miles we dove there and back!) And I am also married to a master packer, and since he got everything to fit, I really couldn’t complain or put up a fight.

The kids actually did really well in the car. Sammy, at 3 ½, was the perfect little passenger. She took naps and went to sleep when she was supposed to, and as long as I had more colors, stickers, books or Dora videos, she was happy as a lark. Caleb, on the other hand, took to being confined in his car seat as sheer punishment. Praise God for relaxing ocean music at 3:00 a.m. and A LOT of McDonald’s, Burger King, and Chick-Fil-A play lands along the way. But in spite of the MANY fits, we had to give our little guy some grace. It would have been hard for me too, if I was used to sleeping on my tummy with my head smashed in the corner of my crib and NOW was being forced to sleep on my back locked in a car seat!

But once we got to Florida, the kids were GREAT! We all four slept in the same room for eight days, and had a GREAT time with family.


And you couldn’t beat the wonderful weather we had….around 75 degrees every day! Within an hour of getting to Brad’s brother’s house, Sammy was COMPLETELY filthy. We had dinner outside in the back yard, and Sammy couldn’t resist playing in the dirt. She actually said to me, “Mommy, they have DIRT here!” To which I said, “We have dirt in Minnesota too, it’s just buried under three feet of snow right now.”

Our Aust family vacations are known for being WAY too crazy and packed, but this one was just right. We spent a lot of time hanging out at the house and a local park/splash pad. We had a birthday party one night and went to see a model railroad. We got to see the space shuttle launch and hang out at Cocoa Beach. (Notice what you get when you cross a runny nose with one sand eating little boy!)

We spent a day at Sea World, and Sammy is STILL obsessed with Shamu…wonder where she gets that from! We hung out in the pool, and stayed up late almost every night talking and laughing.


It was truly a wonderful and completely relaxing time.

As I’ve organized the pictures and written down all that we had done, I’m still trying to figure out what was my favorite part of our trip. Was it the trip down and back…spending all that time listening to really good sermons and driving through seven states with Brad? Was it watching the girls have a “cousin” tea party?


Was it cooking with my sister-in-laws and spending some quality time with them? Was it spending only $404 on the ENTIRE trip? Was it the warmth of the sun and the beautiful weather? Was it watching Brad and his brothers be extremely silly and turn into teenagers again?

I think it’s probably all those things.

I know that I want to make family (and extended family) a priority. I want to spend time playing and relaxing together. I want to go on adventures. I want to figure out how to travel and vacation for CHEAP! I want to take a break from the stresses of life and full time ministry. I want to enjoy God’s nature and His many blessings. I want to make time to rest and play and laugh, and I want to do it with those I love.

Self-examination

I have been free from (my personal) grad school worries for almost two weeks, but since I still had one more action research paper to edit for a member from my advisory group (did I mention it was 118 pages?), my new found freedom has ONLY been (realistically) since Wednesday.

Today, as I've thought about the last two weeks, I've realized it's been harder than I thought to adjust to a new routine and new normal. I've looked so forward to this time to be free from the pressure and stress of school, but I've SERIOUSLY lacked motivation and pretty much any drive to complete those many projects that have been put on hold the last two years.

This morning, during my Sabbath Rest, I really examined what my life has looked like the last couple of days. I've realized my priorities are GROSSLY out of whack. I have spent WAY too much time on the computer, and have neglected so many of my responsibilities and chores because I somehow think I "deserve" to be a slacker and be lazy.

Now, while I think I do need to celebrate and take a moment to enjoy being done, it should not be at the expense of my family....who have ALREADY given so much for me to complete this program over the last two years. The cost to Brad and my kids has been so great, yet I still find myself putting MY wants before theirs.

So I journaled today about what I WANT my priorities to be, and then made an HONEST list of what they have been lately. I'm ashamed to see Jenny at the top of the list.

Even after sin is exposed, dealt with and forgiven, it still sometimes has such a tight grip on our lives. I spent most of today feeling ashamed and wondering how I could be so neglectful of my family and responsibilities and so defiant against God's Word. But tonight I am drawn to Deuteronomy (which, by the way is my NEW favorite book of the Bible...that's right, my FAVORITE book!)

The Israelites have their toes on the edge of the Promised Land, and now God is speaking through Moses in his final sermon to the new generation concerning how they are to live their lives once they cross the Jordan. After a VERY heavy section on curses for disobedience and many future prophesies on how the Israelites will EVENTUALLY turn their backs on God and commit spiritual adultery, God doesn't stop there. In chapter 30, He tells them, "and when you and your children return to the Lord your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you...then the Lord your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb...the Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous...

That's the great thing about our God. He's in the business of restoring and healing and reconciling. There is nothing He is unable to forgive.

So, with a new heart, a new plan, and a new set of priorities, I begin my new life, knowing that blessings AND abundant life will result from both my obedience and my gracious God.