Attitude adjustment

Over the last few weeks, I've really been convicted about my attitude. And, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. Grad school was over (and with it MUCH stress), many activities (MOPS, BSF, Youth Group, Sunday School) were done for the year, and it was summer in Minnesota!

Life really can't get any better, right?

But all I seemed to be thinking about was the four weeks Brad is going to be gone this summer on youth missions trips, summer camps, and miscellaneous other trips. I also couldn't stop thinking about all that had to be done around the house...deck and swing set stained, landscaping weeded, and countless organizing projects. Then there were many decisions that Brad and I hadn't yet made, but needed to, which were consuming a great deal of my thoughts and time. I was also struggling with what my role is now. I mean, for two years I was a "teacher" again. I was challenged and grown in remarkable ways. I was meeting with other teachers, wearing clothes OTHER than jeans and t-shirts, AND wearing make-up.

Who was I and what was I supposed to do now?

And then it hit me...one night a couple of weeks ago at Starbucks.

Since April, I have been meeting almost every Thursday night at Starbucks at 8:00 with two other friends to work through a Beth Moore study. Both my friends are fellow mothers and are women that I have REALLY, REALLY wanted to get to know.

Have you ever really wanted to be friends with the cool girls? Me too! Christina and Steph are very cool in my eyes, and I've really been drawn to them. They are amazingly strong women, and I respect them so much! Over the last couple of years, I've really wanted to get to know them better, and I feel very blessed that I was asked to be a part of this weekly study.

And I have learned SO MUCH from these women and this study! I feel we have been very authentic and vulnerable with one another, and I cannot tell how wonderful our time together is. It is truly a time that I yearn for every week.

A couple of weeks ago, I realized the root of my attitude problem. I had an ungrateful heart and a complaining spirit! It was like the scales had come off, and I could see my heart for what it truly was.

And it was because of one of these ladies.

I realized how desperately one of them yearned for some of the things I was taking for granted. She has to work part-time and is unable to be a part of a mother's group like MOPS or Bible Study Fellowship. Someone else has to be with her son while she works. She had a lot of student loans that were weighing her down.

I had NONE of these problems.

How dare I complain?

Regardless of where each of us are, there will always be someone better off or someone less fortunate. The key is to be content where God has us, and to be grateful for what He has given us.

I did not have a grateful heart. And it was causing me to have a grumbling and complaining attitude. I needed to make a change.

So the next day during my Sabbath time, I made a list of ALL that I have taken for granted. The list was crazy long! I was so blessed to have other mothers to hang out with and learn from at MOPS. I was able to be on a structured and incredibly in-depth Bible study like BSF. I had a WONDERFUL husband who supported me and helped carry the family/house load for 2 years. I was able to stay at home EVERY day with my kids instead of going to work. I had a great church family, and I was surrounded by wonderful, Christian people who loved me and loved my kids. And the list goes on and on...

What a change! Not only was I filled with gratitude for what I had, any current issues I had with contentment (about my house or size of my family or the clothes in my closet) faded away as well. I don't think anyone can NOT be changed when they stop to focus on what they DO have instead of what they DON'T.

God is the giver of ALL good things, and to be ungrateful really means I have a problem with how God is directing my life and providing for my needs. To complain against temporary life situations is to complain directly against God.

Ouch!

Above all, I really want to make these verses my daily prayer.

"Two things I ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before I die:

Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD ?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

--Proverbs 30:7-9