Jenny and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

What a horrible morning.

I'm not sure when it exactly my horrible morning began...maybe it was during my run at 6:30. Three different dogs ran after me and barked ferociously, and I had to stop running every time to yell at them to go home. Seriously, where are these dogs' owners!!!

It could have begun at 6:45, when BOTH my children woke up. This couldn't have been MY children. My children sleep until at least 7:45 if not 8:00.

Maybe it was when Brad and I couldn't figure out where $25 had gone in our budget...and I began to snap at him because it MUST have been HIS mistake... (Two minutes later we discovered MY mis-entry.

Then again, it could have been when I looked around at my incredibly messy house. We had been gone this weekend, and I hadn't been feeling well since Saturday afternoon and hadn't cleaned up ANYTHING...dishes, toys, laundry... I could barely walk through my living room and could NOT see the top of my dining room table. (oh, and let's not forget my DISGUSTING bathrooms...there is hair everywhere, and my toilets haven't been cleaned for at least 3 weeks.)

But wait, let's not forget that as I began to clean up after the kids had breakfast, they ended up tearing apart both of their rooms....literally. I should have know that the lack of noise meant trouble! The kids were playing "sleepover" in Caleb's room, and Caleb had somehow gotten into the top drawer of his dresser and had spread Vaseline onto my white bedspread.

It could have been then.

Or maybe it was around 10:00, when I couldn't handle my cranky kids any longer (remember, they woke up really early) and put them in the car for a few minutes (while I did some laundry) and then drove to a park. And after being there for, let me think, about THREE MINUTES, it started to rain and I threw 2-beyond cranky-children back in the car and drove home.

Yup, that could have been it.

Oh, but it also could have been when Sammy SLAMMED the door on Caleb's hand right before lunch. It's swollen, still has the mark, clear as day, and he's been favoring it.

I don't know when it began, exactly, but I know that I want it to be over. I can't remember having this frustrating of a day in a LONG time. And the worst thing isn't my children's behaviour or their whining. It's my lack of control over my emotions. It's been my screaming at them. It's been when Sammy asks in her sweet chimp muck voice, "Mommy, can you please stop yelling at me and Caleb?"

I hate that. Really hate that. That's what is most horrible.

So, I finally gathered myself (and my children) and called my husband. He prayed for me, reassured me, and comforted me. Then I prayed to God, asking forgiveness and asking for help in overcoming my anger and frustration that has been controlling me today. I asked for forgiveness from my children, and within a minute or two, we were laughing, tickling, and hugging one another.

They are so forgiving...

Now the trick is to forgive myself, which I think is the hardest part, and to let go of my messy house...oh, and Caleb just dumped out ALL of the blocks, UGH! ...to breath and take one moment at a time, and remember that I (hopefully) won't scar my children by my actions today.

God's grace is sufficient, and HIS love and forgiveness covers ALL my sin...yesterday, today, and tomorrow.