That's right...almost TWO weeks!
I can hear you already...what was I thinking?
We had started talking to my parents a couple of months ago about having the kids for 5 or 6 days this summer, but because of the exact timing, other obligations on our part, and my brother's kids' schedules, it turned into 12 days.
And I DID NOT like the idea at all!
We had left our kids last summer for 7 days while Brad and I took a trip to Colorado. They were 2 1/2 and 1 at the time...actually, I think we left ON Caleb's first birthday...was that wrong?
Before you call social services on me, we did have his first birthday party the week before.
Anyway, that week was so refreshing to our marriage and our souls, but it was a terribly long time to be away from our children.
This time was no less hard leaving my kids...even though Sammy kept asking us when mommy and daddy were going to be leaving and telling EVERYONE she met that she was going to stay at Grandma and Papa's house for many, many days.
Separation anxiety? Nope. Neither of my children has that.
(I do truly love this, but once in awhile, a few tears from my kids would be nice!)
So while my husband and I were doing house projects, hanging with our youth group students, watching movies and playing games until the wee hours of the morning (since we actually could sleep in), driving each other crazy because of unmet expectations (one of the biggest issues in our marriage...will blog about that another time!), spending way too much time at Menards, etc., our kids were having a SMASHING good time at Grandma and Papas...despite all my worry, loss of sleep, and almost daily anxiety about their safety and well-being.
Sammy and Caleb's vacation from Mommy and Daddy included...
trips to the Dakota Zoo,
visits to Great-Grandpa,
lining up ALL of Grandma's toy trucks,
playing dress up with the two rocking horses,
hanging out with the cousins,
spending hours outside in a play house,
eating nutricious North Dakota soil,
and my PERSONAL favorite...
frolicing in the tall prairie grass of North Dakota.
Even though I spent a great deal of time beating myself up for allowing them to be gone for so long, I know that this time being apart from them was so healthy for my marriage, for me as a full-time stay at home mom, for my children, and for my parents.
I think they had so much fun that I'm not quite sure they actually had time to miss us. While selfishly, I hope they did, I'm also quite relieved that someone other than me can love, care for, and enjoy my children as much as I do.
Because isn't it my job to help them become independent from me? Don't I need to rely on others to help me parent and raise these children? Isn't it good for them to bond with their grandparents?
Yes, yes, and yes...but it is SOOOOOOO good to have them home!
2 comments:
You know, that last paragraph is really something I have been struggling with. I live in the town where I grew up, all of my family (other than my mother) live within 5 miles of my house. My grandmother doesn't work (she is only in her early 60's), and she begs daily (literally) for me to let her take one of them home with her, even if it is just for a few hours. It makes my stomach ball up in knots when I even think about letting them ride in the car the five miles without me, much less run around in an house that hasn't been childproofed since my oldest cousin stayed with her 19 years ago. I do let them stay with my mother-in-law, but she is really the only babysitter we have. I can't even leave them here with a sitter. I have left them with my dad, step-mom, and sister... but only if all three of them could be here, because I know how much it takes to keep up with them, and I worry that one person can't do it all. I have let them go to my aunt's house a few times as well, but there is no way I could do an over-nighter. It is very hard on Luke and I, as he works such long hours, and only gets Sundays off. The only times we have together are the hours between 8 and whatever time we force ourselves to go to bed, but we are so worn out from our days, we don't feel like doing any more than sitting on the couch watching TV. How did you get past this? I have tried to tell myself that I just have to have faith in God that he will take care of my children no matter where they are, but I think back to a line from "Old Yeller." (I know, really reliable, huh? Not to mention nerdy.) It says "You have to meet God halfway." If I am putting my kids in what I consider a possible danger, then am I doing my half? Sorry for the novel, but any advice you have for me is greatly appreciated.
Micah, this has also been a GREAT struggle for me. Not only with LEAVING my kids with someone (our closest relatives are my parents-5 1/2 hours away- my mother in law and our other siblings are in ND, FL, IN, and NC) but also with PAYING for a babysitter AND whatever it would cost us for our date. But very soon after having Sammy, my husband really led us (I was kicking and screaming, BTW) to make date night a priority. He knew that someday our kids will be gone, and if we haven't given time for our marriage, then it's going to be REALLY rough when our kids get older. We actually created "babysitting" and "marriage enrichment" categories in our budget to reflect our priority...which means NO cable TV or other frills for us! We also are VERY blessed to have countless high school girls in our youth group that are AMAZING with our kids. Concerning my parents, we sat down with them and gave them strict orders (actually I think I typed up 7 pages of notes the first time we left Sammy with them...I'm just a little bit of a control freak!) about the kids' schedule, discipline, etc. My parent's home is NOT child proof, but I had to realize that my mother is a smart woman, and she raised me and if she wants her collectibles to stay in one piece when her grandchildren come for a visit, she will just have to deal with it...but I do try to train my kids to ask before touching. I still cry every time I leave them overnight, but I'm realizing more and more that there are others that can care for them just as much as I can. I really have to give the credit to my hubby...he has often pulled me from them and has held my hand every time I've left them. I'd love to talk further about this, but I hope this helps.
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